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Excerpt from my upcoming new book "6000 Nights at the Bar".
People are fucking stupid. People are fucking lonely. People are lost and bored. Men are driven by ego and women by vanity. Everybody loves to talk and nobody wants to listen. Everyone lives in their own illusion and they want that illusion to be perpetuated.
The Brits don't tip and I hate people from Indiana. New Yorkers are tough but if you them shit they'll love you for it. People from Wisconsin order brandy by the brand and want pickles in their Bloody Mary's.
Mexicans put lime juice on everything. Black women love whipped cream. Filipino men drink corona and their woman drink Merlot. All of them.
White people always try to sound black to black people.
Scottish people are rare in America and they are cool as fuck.
If you can't tell were somebody is from then they're Canadian.
Everybody has to move the fucking cocktail napkin.
Nobody has a charged phone.
All the Europeans bitch about American beer and they all drink Budweiser.
You can gain any man's friendship by pretending he is smarter than you and you can fuck any woman if you can make her laugh.
English
