F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah edition)

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F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah edition)

F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah edition)

@FScottFitzJesse

I'm just here to make fun of myself.

In my mind and in my car เข้าร่วม Aralık 2016
5.8K กำลังติดตาม7.5K ผู้ติดตาม
ทวีตที่ปักหมุด
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah edition)
I have my whole life ahead of me. Except for that huge chunk that is behind me and that I can never get back no matter what.
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F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah edition) รีทวีตแล้ว
Slappy
Slappy@Slapmemam·
Bite me. I want to see if I’m made of cake.
English
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10
32
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F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah edition)
When the In-N-Out guy asks me if I’m going to eat in the car, I say no. I am, but I don’t need them making it easier. Mama ain’t raise no bitch.
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0
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30
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah edition) รีทวีตแล้ว
Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ
Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ@Bob_Janke·
Talking to this super old geezer at the gym and OH MY GOD HES THREE YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME
English
6
9
80
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F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah edition) รีทวีตแล้ว
refriedbuttsects
refriedbuttsects@refriedbuttsect·
showing my barber a picture of a guy with no arms
English
3
103
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17.1K
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah edition) รีทวีตแล้ว
Papii🥤
Papii🥤@ammalusty·
going on r/science and commenting "I knew that already" under every post
English
16
368
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101.1K
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah edition) รีทวีตแล้ว
Cuck Liddell
Cuck Liddell@c0ck_l3snar·
Off brand dr. Pepper has the funniest names. Like wdym I'm sipping on Dr. Perky?
English
7
8
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F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah edition) รีทวีตแล้ว
𝓓𝓾𝓴𝓮 🦇
Adding geologist to my CV after hitting rock bottom>>>>
English
80
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14.4K
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Sarah Deech ☕️
Sarah Deech ☕️@londonette·
Me flicking through the menu at an Indian restaurant pretending to be open minded when I know full well I’m going to order the chicken tikka masala
English
496
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2.5M
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah edition) รีทวีตแล้ว
𝐂𝖆𝖑𝖛𝖎𝖓
𝐂𝖆𝖑𝖛𝖎𝖓@Be_like_calvin2·
High as fuck reading the dictionary can't wait for our next argument bitch.
English
31
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F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah edition) รีทวีตแล้ว
ChiChi Greenblatt
ChiChi Greenblatt@ChiChiGreenblat·
Had a brilliant thought for exactly 1.7 seconds. May she rest in peace.
English
0
22
57
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F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah edition) รีทวีตแล้ว
LaLaLyds
LaLaLyds@LaLa_Lyds·
I think a dark stormy day at an abandoned amusement park might fix me
English
4
22
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F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah edition) รีทวีตแล้ว
im unc
im unc@bl1sterex1sts·
Smart people be like, your other left
English
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40
337
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F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah edition) รีทวีตแล้ว
Papa Woof und Krampus und Bleaken
As I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps.
English
4
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796
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F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah edition) รีทวีตแล้ว
fishious
fishious@fishquichee·
To catch a bus you have to think like a bus
English
26
564
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73.8K