Jacob Rutz

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Jacob Rutz

Jacob Rutz

@JacobRutz

I'm not the hero Twitter wants, I'm the hero Twitter needs. 7th grade Field Day Softball Throw Champion

เข้าร่วม Haziran 2011
190 กำลังติดตาม362 ผู้ติดตาม
ทวีตที่ปักหมุด
Jacob Rutz
Jacob Rutz@JacobRutz·
*The Phantom Menace but with only Jar Jar Binks scenes*
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Jacob Rutz
Jacob Rutz@JacobRutz·
Imagine you get called in for jury duty and it’s just Nicholás Maduro
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Jacob Rutz
Jacob Rutz@JacobRutz·
Transformers 1 and 2 are top tier movies and nobody can tell me otherwise.
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Jacob Rutz
Jacob Rutz@JacobRutz·
@Trigrumps No lie, that’s exactly what brought this thought on. Could they throw any more divorced couples into that movie?
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Jacob Rutz
Jacob Rutz@JacobRutz·
Is it really a disaster movie without a divorced couple, a new rich step dad, and the rekindling of a family along the way?
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Jacob Rutz
Jacob Rutz@JacobRutz·
It’s been a while since I’ve visited Instagram. But after 5 minutes on my discover page, I now know how to align my chakras, channel my inner vibrations, and summon storms by talking to trees. Boy does Instagram really know it’s audience.
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Jacob Rutz
Jacob Rutz@JacobRutz·
It’s like the one thing I don’t mind my tax money going towards.
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Jacob Rutz
Jacob Rutz@JacobRutz·
Why don’t politicians emphasize improving infrastructure? I’d easily vote for someone who effectively puts forwards a plan to evolve transportation.
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Jacob Rutz
Jacob Rutz@JacobRutz·
@dylan_thomas16 I get probably 4 or 5 a day. At this point, I’ll just vote for the person who texts me less.
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Dylan
Dylan@dylan_thomas16·
@JacobRutz I have heard this from so many people! I haven’t received one message 😂
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Jacob Rutz
Jacob Rutz@JacobRutz·
I just want the election to be over so I can stop receiving so many text messages.
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Jacob Rutz
Jacob Rutz@JacobRutz·
“Are you artistic?” I ask from across the room, unaware that I should really emphasize my “R”s.
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Jacob Rutz
Jacob Rutz@JacobRutz·
I see the Ray-Ban scam is making a nice little comeback in 2020.
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Jacob Rutz
Jacob Rutz@JacobRutz·
Who should I vote for?
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Jacob Rutz รีทวีตแล้ว
CNN
CNN@CNN·
A surprising new study found that the controversial antimalarial drug hydroxychloroquine helped Covid-19 patients better survive in the hospital. cnn.it/3ik1CSy
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Jacob Rutz
Jacob Rutz@JacobRutz·
@ash_k_dash That’s understandable. It just stems from what we think the role of government should be. In my mind, the government shouldn’t intervene. I also don’t think the government should mandate evacuations or have a draft.
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Jacob Rutz
Jacob Rutz@JacobRutz·
@tallguyntheback Catch That Kid and don’t you ever forget a cinematic masterpiece like that again.
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Jared
Jared@tallguyntheback·
It's 3:30 AM and I can't stop trying to remember the name of that kid's movie where Corbin Blue is a jewel thief that robs a museum while babysitting a toddler and outruns the police on his go-cart.
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Jacob Rutz
Jacob Rutz@JacobRutz·
@XannibalLecter That’s what I’m saying. I saw someone complaining about it and realized people don’t just do it themselves.
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grant
grant@glizzzygrant·
@JacobRutz ha, it didn’t even occur to me people still needed haircuts #cuecrew 👨🏻‍🦲
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