Kilroy

Just had this really annoying fuckass dream where I was literally just at a normal family function with all the most annoying and hard to deal with family members doing the usual family shit… honestly would have taken a cold sweat nightmare over that.

This but the NHL and you are at the 1988 Oilers home opener…

you met me at a very low elo time of my life

Retarded attachment style

I can win three 10-15 minute games in a row and be fine, but lose one 25+ minute game and my whole evening is fucking ruined.

you like dominant women, not cus you're submissive but cus you're autistic and they're direct with what they want

@BagelPolling Another common thing I see is the judge will ALWAYS seem to emphasize the severity of the crime and all the contributing factors making it such an awful horrible action… and then drop 5 years with credit for time served. They actually really do think these sentences are “tough”.

5 years for attempted murder is insane. Naturally though Canada's legal system has decided against justice decades ago.

22

I will personally fund another yacht for Gaben by buying even more keys. King deserves to be comfortable.

THAT’S TOO MANY MEN WHAT THE FUCK

“Tap for a surprise” SHUT THE FUCK UP OHMYFUCKINGGODDDDD

@Joe___Allen Me: “Absolutely stunning, probably the best performance I’ve seen today!” Commentators: “The public execution will take place tomorrow at noon.”

Watching the figure skating on TNT. Me: "Wow, that's incredible. Looks faultless." Commentators: "Ah unfortunately that's total shit. They'll be distraught and full of self-loathing. And rightly so."

Obama if everyone in the United States got turned into a minion: “my bello Americans”

@FriedgeHNIC I read “Goal: Jordan Binnington” and for a second I thought the funniest thing happened

Goal: Jordan Binnington vs Julian Junca Junca came on in relief during France's 6-3 loss to Czechia. Played 18 mins, stopped all 12 shots he faced

they hate on me for farting but the biggest stars are full of gas

@SynergeticMan @JonFromAlberta Canada isn’t a nation-state it’s a “multinational” state, you jackanape. I don’t know why you seem to think you should be the authority on Alberta’s issues when you can’t even get simple shit right about your own country.

@JonFromAlberta In no way, shape, or form are the residents of Alberta "a people." You have absolutely no claim to any inherent right of self-determination beyond those granted by the nation-state of Canada. Wishing something were so does not make it so.

Canada’s national symbol tells a story—just not Alberta’s. The maple leaf is presented as a unifying emblem, something meant to speak for a vast and diverse country stretching from the Atlantic to the Pacific, from the Prairies to the Arctic. But symbols matter precisely because they reveal what a nation actually sees itself as. And the truth is this: the maple leaf does not represent Canada as lived by Albertans. It represents the Canada that formed first, governed longest, and still holds the levers of power. Geographically, the maple leaf is rooted in a very specific place. The sugar maple grows naturally along the St. Lawrence River corridor—southern Ontario and Quebec—the historic heart of colonial settlement, administration, and trade. That region became the political and cultural core of Confederation. Its values, assumptions, and priorities hardened into institutions. Over time, its identity became national identity by default. That is not an accident. It is how centralized states form. The maple leaf emerged as Canada’s defining symbol during a period when the country was actively consolidating authority away from the regions and toward Ottawa. It replaced British imperial imagery not with a truly pan-continental symbol, but with one drawn from the Laurentian heartland—the same elite corridor that still dominates federal politics, media, finance, and bureaucracy. The leaf symbolizes continuity: smooth governance, managed consensus, institutional authority, and moral legitimacy conferred from the centre outward. Alberta’s story could not be more different. Alberta was not shaped by river valleys and administrative capitals. It was shaped by open prairie, harsh winters, distance, risk, and work that actually had to produce something real. Its culture grew from homesteaders, ranchers, farmers, rig workers, tradespeople, and entrepreneurs—people who could not afford abstraction. Survival required responsibility. Prosperity required effort. Freedom was not theoretical; it was practical. Where the Laurentian model values centralized planning, Alberta values earned outcomes. Where the eastern establishment trusts institutions first, Albertans trust individuals who show up and do the work. Where Canada’s federal culture emphasizes regulation, process, and moral posturing, Alberta emphasizes contribution, accountability, and results. And yet Alberta is governed as if it were an afterthought—an economic engine to be managed, restrained, and redistributed, not a people with a distinct identity and legitimate claim to self-government. That is the deeper conflict. Alberta is not merely “discontent.” It is misrepresented. The maple leaf asks Alberta to see itself reflected in a symbol that grew somewhere else, emerged from someone else’s history, and now legitimizes a centralized system that consistently overrides Alberta’s democratic will. It asks Albertans to accept moral authority from institutions they did not build, governed by elites who neither understand nor respect the culture that built this province. Alberta independence is not about anger or symbolism for its own sake. It is about alignment—between a people and the system that governs them. A nation’s symbols should reflect its land, its work, and its values. When they do not, the problem is not the people who feel alienated. The problem is the structure that insists on speaking for them anyway. Alberta does not need to be “included” in someone else’s story. It is strong enough to write its own. Now go sign the petition and bring 25 friends! -JonFromAlberta

@sneako 1 Timothy 4:4-5 you fucking retard

People clowned on my diet so much it became twitter news. Its simple I just follow Jesus he didn’t eat pork either. 🐷❌

Artemi Panarin to LA for Liam Greentree and a conditional third

coach doesn't play