The Life Guru🐝

@BigJjdgysus @Plentyshit From memory mate only one of us owned a caravan in North Wales. Little clue…it wasn’t me. #Caravanwanker

Are we there yet 🤔🛒🛣️🏖️

@bus_driver_bob I thought your name was Bob? Make your fucking mind up.

Hi everyone he probably won't see this but happy birthday to Jesus who was born in a cave on this day millions of years ago too protect us, have a good day mate best wishes Robert

@fesshole My mate @BigJjdgysus does this in motorway services while HGV drivers are actually having a dump. He offers other “Specialised Services” too.

When my son was potty training, I'd often take photos of the massive jobbies he'd do in his potty to show the wife. Had to stop when he mimicked taking pictures of the potty contents with his Fisher Price phone.

@anon_opin @GaryBarlow going in a bit heavy. Get over it Gary.

If you've got an opinion you want on here - submit it to the form: forms.gle/1gNMupaNHQf8xe…

@PaulleyTicks She said name a “better” trio, not name the trio.

External, thrombosed and prolapsed hemorrhoids.

@BigJjdgysus @PatrioticDee @Bobbybollocks2 @Keir_Starmer The shower of shite you voted for the past 15 years decimated the armed forces to such an extent that we can’t defend ourselves anymore, ripped the NHS apart and tanked the economy thanks to thick people like you who think they’re middle class while living in Droylsden.

We will be defined by our ability to stand up for British interests in this volatile world. To make our country more secure and resilient. To give working people a fairer deal and deliver more opportunities for their children.

If I could lick my own balls, I’d be happy as a pig in shit. My mate, @BigJjdgysus licks his human sex doll @bus_driver_bob balls most days and is deliriously happy. Coincidentally, he also licks his neighbours dogs balls.

@JahadSaleer @bus_driver_bob Does Mandy get involved too? Sounds like you’re in an open relationship, by which I mean your wife’s legs are wide open #Goodtimes

@LifeGuru__ @bus_driver_bob Carl is my good friend for some years now, he is not hanging out the back of my Mrs most nights, he has his own Mrs called Mandy,

I am now available for porn bookings

@JahadSaleer @bus_driver_bob Carl? Is he still hanging out the back of your Mrs most nights?

@bus_driver_bob Oh u are a boring swine, there would have been a large cash prize, and naked ladies potentially,

@bus_driver_bob @BigJjdgysus @Bitchasaurus1 @Bobbybollocks2 You can’t use the word “Retard” any more, Bob, just like you can’t do your favourite pass time anymore, sucking cock in Tesco toilets in East Hackney.

@BigJjdgysus @Bitchasaurus1 @Bobbybollocks2 I don't have no Saturday drag outfit, maybe it's u or your sex retard @LifeGuru__ I wouldn't know,

@bus_driver_bob On @BigJjdgysus chest?

Doing a poo

@fesshole I’ve got a mate, @BigJjdgysus , who will insert them for you for free. The only caveat being he has to insert them into your anus with his mouth. He’s very particular about this. He takes great pride in his work, he’s a real professional. He will also retrieve anal objects orally

It wasnt clothes getting tighter, or my belt needing a new hole that alerted me of the urgent need to shed some flub. It was realising I was now unable to reach my hoop to insert pile suppositories because my arse had grown too ample for my arms to reach the target.

@fesshole For crying out loud @BigJjdgysus get a grip, and I don’t mean of your or somebody else’s cock. Is that the hand you sign the sex offenders register with?

Put fake nails on my right hand, sat on it till it went numb, then gave myself a shandy. Figured it would feel like someone else was doing it, actually was more like being wanked off by a corpse. Would not recommend.

@markgoldbridge The guys been dreadful last few weeks. Poor first touch, runs down blind ally’s. Offers nothing. What does Sesko need to do to start?

Feel bad for Mbuemo. Playing out of position and gets hooked

@BigJjdgysus @ManUtd @B_Fernandes8 Get a life you melt.

Reply with a number between 1-100 and we'll show the corresponding assist from @B_Fernandes8 🪄⬇️

Hey @bus_driver_bob , saw this and immediately thought of you and @BigJjdgysus pillow talk

Morning all, my arse hole sees lots of action

@bus_driver_bob Remember Bob, good things aren’t cheap and cheap things aren’t good. I’m guessing you’re the sexual equivalent of @homebargains

Free sex near me

@nonregemesse Rochdale

I would like to immediately know where this is

@bus_driver_bob Hanging out of your backside?

I've got the biggest bollacks in east Hackney