Jamie Shachmut

Hey @StreamOnMax Batman is offended you spelled villains wrong on your platform (and that you called him out on wearing spandex)

which would have put me getting to Philadelphia 3 hours later, then somehow my bag didn’t get on my original flight so I had to have it delivered to my lodging 5 hours after I arrived. Only positive is at least I got to watch movies on your plane. Do better @Delta

@Delta this is the first and last time I will ever fly with you. You put me on standby TWICE even when I purchased my checked bag, your staff in Atlanta tried to force me to give up my seat and take a seat on the last flight to Philadelphia part 1

If you can hear this picture, we’re friends 🪄✨

@Safeway you really need better staff or to check on this store. General Manager says she was never notified but it was announced over the PA system several times.

I met a magical Genie. He gave me one wish. I said, “I wish I could be you.” The Genue saud, “Weurd wush but U wull grant ut.”

Leaving my boyfriend’s house at the same time as him really has its benefits. • Some dude decided to tail me from the freeway on-ramp all the way to my exit, following every lane change I did. • So I called my boyfriend who sped up his drive to cut off said driver. I love him

long shot but if a boy just asked you to pick him up from jfk airport today (jetblue flight from raleigh) HE CHEATED ON YOU THIS WEEKEND HE IS BRAGGING ABOUT IT IN THE SEAT BEHIND ME ON THIS PLANE

Hello!

Don't miss out on your last chance to buy our Wooden Pet Carvings with a huge discount! ✨ Order yours ➤ pawfecthouse.com/WCP-FQ-001-TW1 #dog #dogsofinstagram #pets #gift #homedecor #decoration #cat

Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. This explains everything!

Today at my office I ran into a guy with a service dog getting off the elevator, and the dog beelined STRAIGHT to my side. Me: Oh, he’s so sweet!!! Can he tell if people are stressed? Person: He’s a PTSD dog. Me: 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

Dearest fellow squids, The time has come for us to make a fond fare-whale to Twitter/X for now. But never fear, you can follow us on more socials than here! We’ll keep you up to date on all things Ocean™ and Aquarium wherever you go.

New ocean anklet 🪼 #tattoo

In the name of artistic expression, we’re thrilled to announce our Only Fans page! Elated to say that I’ll be taking the pictures of my gorgeous model husband, @AH_Michael Also, huge thanks to @AndyTheBlanch for helping us on this exciting new adventure! onlyfans.com/joneslyfans

If I had a nickel for every time Will Ferrell played a business executive in the fictionalized “real world” of a movie about a popular toy empire, I would have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird it happened twice.

Summers are for the sharks! ❤️ this tweet for a reminder to tune in to #SharkWeek starting Sunday, July 23 at 8p on @Discovery.