Phil Kermode

If only we could all be as influential as Post Malone.

Not surprised Ellen is treating her staff like shit. I bet she learned a thing or two from Oprah about how to become a millionaire by exploiting the talent of other people.

Who's thirsty. youtu.be/2iH2Cj-AAD0 #Orangesoda #lockdownextension #coronavirus #WallpaperWednesday #WednesdayMotivation

People claiming they have the virus, spitting + coughing on people deserve life in prison. 25 years for being a vile human being and 25 years for attempted murder. #Covid_19

@JohnHand13 God, I was horribly drunk when I wrote that...well I stand by it.

@JohnHand13 Are you one of these people who's amazed they've banned evictions because of the current situation? Evictions happen all the time, some people deserve it. Don't tell me you think everyone in Ireland is sound and deserves a free house.

Fondest childhood memory. My dad and I driving past a factory with printing machines visible. What kind of printing is it I asked my dad.They actually print toilet paper he replies. I fully believed him for years and later found out it's where the Irish Times is printed.

If you still make jokes about Sinn Fein being pro-terrorism, you need to go download some MP3s from limewire and go for a walk in that park you got bullied in called your skewed sense of reality.

Headlines are misleading.

@abbygov How did you ask her, via text or rl?

We've opened a black hole called the Internet. It's been consistently sucking everything into oblivion and catapulting everything forward at the same time. It's amazing to look at but absolutely terrifying to observe.

@JohnHand13 Awh lads, yis are all laughing at me. Why are yas always laughing at me??

@AOC Seems more like a health and safety precaution to me. Ever done HACCP training?

Siri, show me what classism looks like:

Why is there a picture of Tom Hardy on this post?

Surprise! You're.. Not dead!

19th Century happiness must've been dope..

Been back on Twitter for 10 mins.... No wonder ya'll gone crazy.