Sam Pamphilon

We are such a bunch of stupid fucks

@paddy_arkwright Appreciate it x

@Zafarcakes More than I could’ve hoped for.

@SamPamphilon this is what I was excited to tell you about yesterday.

Not doing what I’m told when I’m getting arrested is my favourite thing, hands down.

I’m not successful enough to get Imposter Syndrome

Very rich people eat crisps with tweezers

@jaffathecake Who knows, whatever this is it was always there waiting. He’s moralised his darker nature. A narcissist. He can’t come back.

@SamPamphilon Do you think he was always like this? For a while I thought 10-years-ago-him would be horrified to look at himself now, but I'm not sure anymore.

Sad, lonely fatso Gra*ham Lin*han isn’t just misguided or having a breakdown. He’s a fucking nasty bastard. Straight up horrible. A bully who’s found a niche, a ring of fellow bullies egging him on.

Thanks ‘for you’ Twitter.

Winner of hide and seek receiving award: Respect my privacy at this time

Woah, HUGE news.

@BenTarget Maybe he just thought they were small toast.

In a cafe watching a man put strawberry jam on hash browns - is this a thing?! Have I been missing out?

@JozNorris Ironically your best hope is magic.

Oh shit I accidentally shaved off my beard one week before I have to play a magician. Does anyone know how to grow a beard in 1 week?

@Claire_journo Probably the legend that is @MattHighton

Why's Mr Blobby trending?

@20thcenturymarc What the fuck is going on

I just didn’t have “The writer of Father Ted will publish a thin, poor faith, badly written hit piece on you that erases your sexuality in order to support their own bigoted agenda against a minority” on my life-in-your-40s bingo card.

@jayrayner1 Mazeltov

Breakfast in New York. #katz

A rotting Krispy Kreme

@RyanDotAbs Solid advice Ryan

Guys, this isn’t going the way I had hoped. Plz halp

@Wangleberry There has to be a line

Should I get some dungarees?