Poop “Girth” Johnson

Self dox (I’m not Kevin Durant btw)

@VsevolodNeszjz The only redeeming factor

@SlopJohnson34 Now you’ll have money for more beer

Graduating it 2 weeks work starts in 3 #fuck

@GuyonLI Excellent use of this gif

Just connected with my first kiss on LinkedIn #CorporateAmerica

@AllKindsWeather @d1baseball Rent free

How drunk is @d1baseball? FSU is 24-11, 9-6 ACC, #6 in their RPI. Florida is 27-10, 9-6 SEC, #4 in their RPI. And Florida swept FSU this season. And yet they have FSU ranked 8th, and Florida ranked 20th. This is why we’ll be using Baseball America rankings moving forward.

@JuleoneC I hope you’re really really good at football brother

Scored a 20 on my ACT!! #Studentathlete .📚

@LustbustOconnor Fuck yea Pat

For dinner tonight I decided to remind myself that i’m the fucking man

Just ran a mile for the first time since probably highschool and man did I think shit was sweet #chud

@mackattack2003 @TherealMikeO

2026 Masters hat for sale drop some offers. Low-ballers will be blocked.

Rory please choke on that protein bar and fucking die #icantstandthisguy

Ryan Leonard 20 goal season

Tom Wilson 30 goal season

@SlopJohnson34 The fuck you are😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Anyone else boozin? Going to see a nuclear day from Brooks Koepka today

CAL FISHER DING DONG

Absolutely love the Workday hat out of Matt Fitzpatrick today #oneofus #corporateAmerica

@SleeperNats A pass?? Burn him at the stake

Do you give Paul Toboni a “pass” for having a bad bullpen in a rebuilding year? Or is it still a problem? #Natitude

@CBSDickFitzwell ESPN ruins everything

Augusta National should make a deal with Magic City to have a portable strip club called “Putts and Poles” at the Masters next year since the spectacle we all know and love is being completely ruined. Just go balls deep and get strippers there.

Hey Bryson, let’s stick to hitting hole in ones over your house #ohmygoodnessvalentine

I was just talking to the president and we’re declaring war on fat and gay kids.