xerych

@mldiffley Now what if we made the ball extra bouncy?

Here’s how I would fix soccer: 1. No goalies. Let’s have a high scoring game 2. Too many guys on the field. Make it 5v5 3. Shrink the goals, put them 10 feet in the air 4. Shrink the field 5. Play on hardwood, not grass 6. You can use your hands 7. Goals are worth 2 points

@cagiago_ He can still go see the other matches, no? Or do they just kick you out once your team gets eliminated?

I’m dying his adventure lasted 5 hours 😭

@LeBunkerBtc Surely It can't be that bad over there? Can any Germans confirm if they shower with a stopwatch?

Tu t'appelles Hans, t'as 31 ans et tu sors du match de la coupe du monde. L'Allemagne s'est faite humilier par le Paraguay (il y a plus d'Allemands dans leur équipe que dans la tienne). Le lendemain 6h45 tu retournes bosser, taxé à 60% pour financer la transition énergétique, les changements de sexe et les aides sociales distribuées par ton gouvernement aux migrants Érythréens qui se déclarent homosexuels pour rentrer dans les cases. Cet été, tu le passes sous 38 degrés et sans clim clim parce que ton parti écologiste l'a qualifiée d'arme de destruction massive. Au supermarché la bratwurst, tes saucisses préférées ont été remplacées par du soja gris KlimaFleisch subventionné par tes impôts pour sauver les Pingouins. Dans ton open-space a 27 degrés tu as déclaré que tu étais du genre "divers" car c'est devenu le seul moyen d'espérer des promotions avec la discrimination positive et le DEI. L'eau chaude coûte 18 centimes le litre depuis que le gaz russe est coupé, tu te laves en 3 minutes montre en main et ta propriétaire t'envoie des recommandés parce que la consommation dépasse le seuil énergétique fédéral. Tu pleures sous l'eau tiède. À 16 ans tu manifestais contre les centrales nucléaires et t'as élu Angela Merkel qui a exécuté. Maintenant, le gaz russe est coupé, ton industrie du moteur thermique est en berne et l'électricité est un luxe: tu penses même à brûler tes meubles IKEA pour te chauffer cet hiver. Pendant ce temps, ton cousin éloigné Friedrich au Paraguay paye 0% d'impôts, démarre son pick-up Ford V8 5 litres et s'apprête à fêter la victoire autour d'un asado en buvant de la bière allemande. Ça va être un été de merde Hans, et c'est que le début.

@Eden_Truck What else would you suggest? asking for a friend

Zoomers be like yeah I'm 24 maybe I could experience first love by 30 if I reach 3% body fat and break both my legs to gain 3 inches of height

@guccipapaya @thebonnetbabe @Orsorico @SneedingGroyper @blackscats Ok LeBron James

@Xerych @thebonnetbabe @Orsorico @SneedingGroyper @blackscats oh my god dude go outside and try to start a conversation like you just did and see how well it goes.

A pregnant cat was about to give birth. So her bird friend went over and started building her a nest 🥹❤️‍🩹

@guccipapaya @thebonnetbabe @Orsorico @SneedingGroyper @blackscats Me and you have very different ideas of what a conversation is. For me it's when 2 or more people are talking to each other

@Xerych @thebonnetbabe @Orsorico @SneedingGroyper @blackscats thats not how that works. you dont start a conversation by asking people how pigeons survived before being domesticated by humans.

@InternetReels fucked around and found out real quick

California liquor store employee pulls a weapon after being surrounded and jumped by a group of teens, sending the crowd running Thoughts?

@guccipapaya @thebonnetbabe @Orsorico @SneedingGroyper @blackscats god forbid a guy tries to start a conversation with people

@thebonnetbabe @Xerych @Orsorico @SneedingGroyper @blackscats fr wtf is up with him 😭

@GreenTextRepost @Epicartworks Bro is dying like a Rockstar (elvis)

submitted by @epicartworks

@Clavicular0 How can you tell when someone is 'neurotypical' when you yourself aren't? What if you end up following around someone even more autistic than yourself and end up even less neurotypiical as a result?

One of the strategies I used to become more neurotypical was to pick out a random person on the street and follow them around for the entire day. I would carefully log all of their movements and observations I made. I still try to do this from time to time, but I get recognized alot which makes it hard.

@ErwinHugger she will find you when you least expect it i think. they just magically appear at some point

How do you even meet women these days man

@ErlingNoContext AI is getting insanely good this is crazy to see

Haaland fears no one. Only himself 😱😭

Robert Egger will go down in history as one of the greatest directors of all time. Every single movie I've seen of his has been nothing short of spectacular.

@thomasjchorton @blackscats Idk I just saw a video of a pigeon just walking into an eagles nest like it's his house

@Xerych @blackscats Probably because they’ve got half decent survival extincts

@Orsorico @SneedingGroyper @blackscats What were they before they got domesticated?

@Xerych @SneedingGroyper @blackscats They didn’t exist, Pigeons are a domesticated bird like dogs are a domesticated wolf.

@BuzzingPop Lisan Al-Gaib

NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani says he does not support changing Constitution to allow him to run for president: “I think the Constitution looks good the way it is.”

GOAT music taste as well this guy has it all truly

@ced_jayy go hug your mom before it's not too late

woke up to this... mom loves me

@pierrecoins gamble your credit cards

Pro tip: if you’re in your 20s Risk. It. All.

@SneedingGroyper @blackscats how did they manage to survive before buildings got invented?

@Xerych @blackscats We built giant buildings with nooks and crannies for them to hide in