tabby

@0xCE7E5 that made me :))

you are posting feet i am posting fish and sometimes feet we are not the same

@sn0oozey its always 50/50 it either happens or it doesnt

Unironically might die soon. It’s like a 50/50 chance.

girl invites u over to fuck and u see this on the wall, wyd

@chaoticweevil kid is going places

my sisters 4 1/2 year old killed a frog and when we asked why he said “because it wasn’t listening to me”

@espressobaddie mother’s day is hard for everyone #beast

my mom (who never smokes weed) just came home and pulled a pride weed disposable pen that was literally the striped colors of the modern pride flags out of her purse and told me high out of her mind “i made dad take me to the dispensary for mother’s day look what i got”

@colligocritters during hurricanes they get swept away across the ocean to undiscovered lands and a new adventure begins

Getting emotional over all the bugs in the earth during a storm. Do they get scared when it thunders?? Do they get hit by the lightning when it goes into the ground?? im tearing up bro how do I warn them to seek shelter??

@tippity thank you tippity for being #honest and #brave

YES i pay for midget pussy YES i used to want to fuck the elmers glue cow and NO i was NOT in Thailand eating ladyboy butt in 2012 LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!

@wannabfisherman we're three years out for ai psychosis

I don't think enough people realize we're about five years out from people going to rehab for phones

@alopias__ are you a rock alien perchance ?

i go nonverbal when upset, so my partner was trying to cheer me up by treating me so he asked "Do you want, wendys? burger king? mcdo?" i kept ignoring him cuz i didnt want anything and then out of the blue he said "ryan gosling?" The way my head snapped to look at him,,,

@sham_exe i would trust your dad with my life

my dad complains that every driver on the road is an idiot and then proceeds to drive like a halo marine piloting a warthog

@GuwapKilled cool mom memory :) #mothersdaylove

one time my mom caught me with a hickey on my neck and I panicked and said dad did it

@c1oudx3m_062 a private journal or diary is a really useful mental tool

gooned so good i had three fingers in my mouth when i orgasmed

@snqper finger the crack then eyes then nose

When you wake up do you dig in your nose or your butt first

@computer1010101 i only use half and half am i crazy

On the topic of homogenized milk Can we talk about how bone chilling it is when you find out someone you (used to) love and respect drinks 1% milk? And then you go to their place and they want you to drink their water milk? Like a fucking peasant?

@alcoh0locaust if it works it works.......

Posted with consent of the original author.

@realyuriyearns try thalasin. i usually take a ponnish before work

they should invent a feeling that isn't shame is there any progress in that field yet.

@yearncel you baby penis has to fall off, around 22

When do I grow my adult penis

@rachelmillman "this is where i had my first kiss" and its a field and a bush

I love bringing my boyfriend to my hometown and saying stuff like “this is the gas station where I bought my prom dress” with a straight face

@Dansplainer special event log in reward

saw a mom struggling to grab something off the top shelf at the store and i homed in on it like it was double xp