Beth Rylance

Am I a nepo baby if my Dad still pays for my phone bill? For context, my Dad is Mark Rylance.

Why did they call them Dumb Waiters when they could’ve called them Eleplateors? hello is this thing on

Just done that thing where you accidentally mop yourself into a room. Been stuck here for 20 minutes and the floor still isn't dry :')

Lovely to tread the podcast boards doing a fair to middling Australian accent for Dial F For Football. I learnt everything I know from Neighbours at 5:30pm on BBC One, just before The Simpsons x

⚽️🚨DIAL F FOR FOOTBALL⚽️🚨 New episode available now. This week we address the dreaded topic of women in football shorturl.at/hNVX8 @lollyadefope @FergusCraig @jessicafostekew @EdGambleComedy @LloydGriffith @beth_rylance @rosentweets @rhysjamesy @DJTayo

And to thank me, he asked why I didn’t have any acting work. God bless!!!!!!

Just spent 10 minutes of my one short life helping my Dad work out why his phone had stopped ringing and it turns out it was just on silent. 😎

@paddy_delaney It’s a miracle. Praise be, under his eye x

@beth_rylance I read your post and then looked up and I saw a toffee crisp

Can anyone confirm or deny the fate of Toffee Crisp? I can’t find one anywhere. Yes this is what Twitter is for now

@TPcasting They're the only ones for me. Been searching corner shops for days to no avail. The only orange I've seen on the shelves is Reese's 🥲

@beth_rylance Frickin love a toffee crisp

@luludillon and Salt n' Shake???

@paddy_delaney name your source

Just cried at the end of my own script because I put 'Strong by Robbie Williams plays', so I think we all know who hasn't left the house for two days!!!!!

Haven’t been able to drink fizzy rosé since we lost our Di x

My writing process feels a lot like the everlasting gobstopper machine in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, except the ingredients that go into it are anxiety and complex ptsd and what comes out the other end is absolutely nothing. 💖

I think the biggest indicator of imposter syndrome is when someone tries to get into the toilet cubicle you’re in and you panic refer to yourself in the third person and say ‘Someone’s in here!’ like you don’t even know it’s you

I’ve been saying this for a very long time, The police don’t have to automatically record or stare information about serial domestic abusers or stalkers - so they don’t. Sign the petition to make this happen change.org/p/include-seri…

One thing I’ll say for the Christmas Holidays is my Grandma’s accessible shower is incredibly good for shaving my legs in.

I’m calling it early: it’s lip balm season, boys!!!!!

My top tip for writing? I usually sit and free write around 400-500 words a day on the quality of the table I'm sat at and if it's wobbly or not ;')

Would you believe I’d never seen a single episode of reality tv before writing this? Yeah, me neither lol