eel enthusiast 🦐

25.6K posts

eel enthusiast 🦐 banner
eel enthusiast 🦐

eel enthusiast 🦐

@cheascake

same jester, new court

universal basic white girl เข้าร่วม Aralık 2020
640 กำลังติดตาม2.7K ผู้ติดตาม
ทวีตที่ปักหมุด
eel enthusiast 🦐
eel enthusiast 🦐@cheascake·
I have been left destitute after sexting over a telegraph with my long distance chimney sweep boyfriend because I keep asking for consent again whenever he says STOP at the end of a sentence.
English
11
43
419
0
eel enthusiast 🦐 รีทวีตแล้ว
Emily Stewart
Emily Stewart@EmilyStewartM·
weird day where it's like well i do have a workout class this evening but do i go to it in case we do nuclear war at 8
English
2
59
2K
62.9K
eel enthusiast 🦐
eel enthusiast 🦐@cheascake·
Didn't go to the store last week and did not defrost my stew so today we have shredded carrot and vanilla yogurt in a fiber tortilla
eel enthusiast 🦐 tweet media
English
3
0
12
217
eel enthusiast 🦐 รีทวีตแล้ว
samantha
samantha@mobilesuitsam·
if you miss a workout or gym day you immediately get fat and ugly and then they kill you and your entire family and everyone you love
English
67
2.6K
30.8K
568.2K
eel enthusiast 🦐
eel enthusiast 🦐@cheascake·
blue collar is when the customers want to hit you and white collar is when your coworkers want to hit you.
English
3
0
11
184
eel enthusiast 🦐 รีทวีตแล้ว
『S T R A N G E L I F T』
Ugly as hell, stinking, mouth agape and drooling with my knuckles dragging on the ground. Back in the grocery store.
English
0
1
9
345
eel enthusiast 🦐
eel enthusiast 🦐@cheascake·
chocolate chips are like zyns for little treat girlies
English
0
0
9
204
eel enthusiast 🦐
eel enthusiast 🦐@cheascake·
it must feel so good to be playdough in a hydraulic press
English
2
0
15
228
eel enthusiast 🦐
eel enthusiast 🦐@cheascake·
living in new jersey is a lot like being cinderella because every time i want to go home from a night out i have to go before the PATH turns into a pumpkin and the operators turn back into rats
English
1
1
19
387
eel enthusiast 🦐
eel enthusiast 🦐@cheascake·
How many grams of protein in a kiss goodnight
English
4
2
23
504
eel enthusiast 🦐 รีทวีตแล้ว
ylareia
ylareia@Impish_Bunny·
just got told to put on shoes at work, which feels like a hate crime
English
1
1
20
694
eel enthusiast 🦐 รีทวีตแล้ว
Robert Schultz
Robert Schultz@_RobertSchultz·
the worst part of living with my wife is that i’m also living with all her intrusive thoughts like last night as we were falling asleep i said “i hope that you sleep well” and then through the darkness she replied “i hope that whenever i die you die at the exact same time”
English
136
2.1K
51.4K
1.2M
eel enthusiast 🦐 รีทวีตแล้ว
Scott Hansen
Scott Hansen@Lithros·
my wife thinks I'm a genius but she also disagrees with me sometimes, implying she sees herself as some kind of super-genius. yet she denies this
English
38
355
13.6K
301.6K
eel enthusiast 🦐 รีทวีตแล้ว
Dorp
Dorp@d0rpboy·
Washing the dishes is a fundamentally female chore because they can actually get their hands inside the cups. I am also told they like the hot water
English
0
1
3
119
eel enthusiast 🦐 รีทวีตแล้ว
ned!
ned!@nedsore·
My inability to differentiate parsley from cilantro is going to be a huge problem someday. Not for me but for somebody
English
2
1
27
438