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Citizens of Raleigh, Word reaches you now from the headquarters of the Carolina Regiment that we march north at first light toward the frozen lands of Montreal, there to continue our campaign against the so-called Canadiens and their band of maple-syrup-drunk musketeers. Though the enemy hides behind their French tongues, striped sweaters, and the smell of stale baguettes drifting through their camps, we fear them not. Last evening, with your thunderous support shaking the very foundations of our fortress in Carolina, the Regiment restored honor to the Eastern Front and evened this Final Eastern War at one battle apiece. The cries of our faithful citizens rang louder than cannon fire, and every volley from the enemy was answered with steel, grit, and Carolina fury. The men speak proudly of the people of Raleigh, for your spirit marched beside us in every charge. Now we venture into enemy territory, where the Canadiens believe their cold air and miserable cuisine shall weaken us. Let them cling to their tiny cups of espresso and surrender flags disguised as white towels. We shall bring them a far greater terror: sixty full minutes of Carolina hockey. I vow to you now, as commanding officer of this proud Regiment, that we shall do all within our power to steal both contests from the French scum upon their own soil and return south with the enemy broken in spirit. Colonel Aho sharpens his blade. Sergeant Svechnikov readies the artillery. Sergeant Andersen stands vigilant between the posts like a fortress wall. The men are prepared for war. And by order of Headquarters, let it also be known throughout the Carolinas that: ⸻ PROMOTION ORDER — CAROLINA REGIMENT By order of General Jordan Staal, Commanding Officer of the Carolina Regiment: For exceptional offensive valor during Battle #2 of the Final Eastern War against the Montreal Regiment, wherein he repeatedly pierced enemy defenses and brought chaos upon the Canadiens with relentless speed and precision, Corporal Nikolaj Ehlers is hereby promoted to the rank of Sergeant within the Carolina Regiment. Sergeant Ehlers has demonstrated courage, aggression, and an utter disregard for the emotional well-being of Montreal’s defenders. His actions brought great glory to the Regiment and considerable sorrow to the citizens of Quebec. Effective immediately, he shall be addressed as: Sergeant Nikolaj Ehlers Carolina Regiment Signed this day, Jordan L. Staal GEN, CAR Commanding ⸻ Remain steadfast, citizens. Guard the homeland while we carry the war into French territory. If fortune favors us, the Canadiens shall soon learn that Carolina hospitality ends where Lord Stanley’s prize begins. For the Regiment. For Carolina. No Quarter. - General Staal #SoundTheSiren #GoHabsGo