elizabeth blevins

@Ann_Hedonia1 Eat two pieces today and you'll be fine

I said no to a piece of cake today and have yet to see any health benefits

@skuyler_ Can't blame 'em

No wonder the aliens just flew by

@dougboneparth All highly overrated

If you simply avoid shelter, food, gas and other basic needs for survival, inflation shouldn’t impact you.

@RetiredDent It would work for you

I think I found my next hair style.

@FinalDude78 like

like this tweet if you still call it twitter

@LLcoooltweet Best birthday wishes to your dear, sweet mama. I hope she has a fabulous day and a happy, healthy and fun year ahead

Today is my mom’s 70’s birthday!

@RetiredDent Thank you, good citizen

I forgot we were on water restrictions and I accidentally flushed the toilet after only using it once. Don’t worry though because I didn’t wash my hands. 🙌 #Calgary

@yeeeerika What a lovely day you had. Life is good

i am having the Perfect Sunday: slept in until 11, huevos rancheros for breakfast, a *gorgeous* walk, got a car wash and flowers, took an everything shower. now i'm baking cookies and reading my book (the stalker by paula bomer). i don't take days like this for granted.

@jswtreeman you, dear sir, are gentleman and a scholar

In honor of International Women’s Day I helped a short woman get something off the top shelf at the grocery store this morning.

@LLcoooltweet Mine identify more as Jigglypuff and Wigglytuff

I have always named my boobs Winky and Blinky but I think they identify more as Cher and Madonna.

@Amyjj11 Me too, especially in the evening when I'm watching tv

I’m entering the stage of life where I am cold all the time. I think it might be called little old lady.

@yeeeerika Bravo, young lady! I'm so very pleased for you.

i haven't ordered takeout since october 2025 (i used to order out 4–5 times a week). between that, not drinking (sober since aug 2024), and creating a budget i have an extra 4k in savings. i've also lost 30 pounds. being intentional rocks.

@RetiredDent Yeah, it is. And it just keeps getting weirder

Um…. this is some weird shit.

@yeeeerika Way to go, Erika!! It's a good thing

today marks 19 months of sobriety!! the best decision of my life!! happy to be here

@RGRyan777 Any questions?

If you were alive in the 80s, you will know what this is. (Hint… It’s not an egg.)

@LillyHale1 It will do in a pinch

I stand by my assertion that Tootsie Rolls are the candy corn of chocolate confections. But I'm craving chocolate, and it's the only thing left of last fall's Halloween candy, so I'm about to compromise my principles.

@SamGoodman990 Yikes!

Skeletor looks well

@TrueTorontoGirl And watch your IQ points rise

I don't feel like doing social media today. Have a nice day.

@RetiredDent Sounds wonderful! I'd like to live there

…and another thing about Japan…. nobody talks on their mobile devices in public places and there aren’t cars driving around with their sound systems on maximum so everybody can hear their shitty music. Everybody is respectful.

@gnuman1979 The ice appeared thin to me, was worried she might fall through. Relieved to know she didn't. And the sky... so beautiful

Magical.