john edwards

@WHATSFORDlNNER Only tinned tomatoes belong on that plate

Would you keep the tomatoes or take them off? 🤔

@GunnerPuls Gazza

A famous footballer in his younger days. Guess the player? Level: Hard 🔥

@Matt_Pinner Banana

Gun to your head, name a fruit without the letter A

@DonnaLouise1212 Being a northerner and seeing a man " on the mat " , means he is getting a bollocking off his boss ?

What would you say to him?...

@sharrond62 Unfortunately this post will mostly go ignored because its true! Thats the world we live in today and i am losing patience with it. Worked full time for 44 yrs and fully paid into the system. Became unemployed and got £400 per month ??? Had to beg and plead to get help

I started training at 8, by 10 I was in a swimming pool twice a day 6 days a week. As soon as I finished college I started full time work. I’ve always been self employed or run a small limited company, at one time employing three. I’ve had 3 kids & never taken a days maternity leave. I’ve never claimed a penny off the state in benefits. I’m 63 & still working. I’ve always paid my taxes on time & in full. Today I woke up & felt hard work, self responsibility & planning for my future is no longer rewarded in the Uk I’ve always loved 😞 we cannot keep killing aspiration… !

@fopminui Go on lad !!

For all those who knew Dave (Stotty) Stott @3PARA #ClassOf1982, sadly, Stotty has passed. He was a much-loved and respected Regimental character and an outstanding Company medic on Mount Longdon in 1982. On Mount Longdon, Stotty treated me quickly and efficiently and moved on to others; he was cool, calm and reassuring and moved around under fire without thought for his personal safety; "You did not desert me, my brothers in arms" Dave Stott on the left, and fellow medic Steve Harding-Dempster on the right. Rest in Peace 'Stotty' The Parachute Regiment Falklands

@rickygervais Show Jane's friends

My thingy arrived, commemorating my star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Might just leave it propped up in the middle of my desk to remind me of how important I am.

@JamesMelville The most annoying is lowering of weight content but increase in price

£8 for a jar of coffee £12 for bottle of olive oil £20 spent on just two items of food. UK supermarket food prices are out of control. Everyone is saying the same thing.

@JaneGerson Go on lad !!!! Happy birthday

My father is 104 years old today! We're having a small birthday party for him this afternoon. Happy birthday dad 🎂 🎁 💝

@bigphil321 They hurt me more than my mam. Had many good hidings with em lol.

I vividly remember my mum and other women wearing these back in the 70’s.. They were loud, you could hear them clip clopping.. But I can’t imagine that they were one bit comfy, or were they? If you missed your step & went off the side, I can imagine broken/twisted bones😫

@ImpressionistAL Caught the ball and commamded his area. Its two better traits than banana !

Lads, I think we may just have a keeper.

We paid for Angela Rayner’s education. We paid her wages when she worked for the local council. We paid her wages when she became an MP. We even paid the settlement that enabled her to buy a house. Tax payers have funded every aspect of her entire life.

@StretfordPaddck The worst Brazilian since Stevie Wonder shaved his wife's fanny

Real Betis have officially withdrawn their offer to Manchester United for Antony ❌ What now for the Brazilian? 🧐 #MUFC

@StretfordPaddck Bruno is tired.

🤝 FT: Fulham 1-1 #MUFC United ultimately not good enough today as the points are shared in the Capital. Instant thoughts on the game, Reds? 💭

Go Tommy. @TommyFleetwood1 ⛳

@sheila_gooner Im definitely a keeper. Just not a goalkeeper

Any good Goal Keepers around the London/Essex area interested get in touch with @johnedwards180

@rickygervais Ive never had Dutch Barn vodka. Had all the others

You have to get 3 of these things on your birthday. What do you choose? Socks, flu, stabbed, Leprosy, sacked, sepsis, Dutch Barn Vodka, evicted, ring worm, drunk, run over, AIDS.

@donsue45 Sahih Muslim 2564 (Hadith): The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, "A Muslim is a brother of another Muslim, so he should not oppress him, nor should he hand him over to an oppressor."

@MilitaryCooI Safety

First word that comes to mind?