Molly with a y

@skitzohousecat @Antunes1 Green bananas cause constipation and older ones are sweeter.

@Antunes1 If someone offers you two bananas one is bruised and scratched and the other is fresh and still has green on the end which one are you picking?

They say the person you marry is the most important decision of your life. Many times, men, as their wife ages, get drawn to younger, hotter women, leaving behind the one who’s been with them since the beginning. Scott Adams is a great example. In his last days of life, his older, wrinkled wife was the one beside him on his deathbed, crying while publicly announcing his death to the world, not the Instagram influencer he married afterward, who’s nowhere to be seen. Be careful.

This man put up 300 yards and 3 TDs a day ago. Today, he rides his horse, Chaotic, next to a four-wheeler doing a wheelie. @Ahmadhardy29 allowed @KOMUsports and I to join him on the ranch to learn how he spends his time when he’s not galloping for a touchdown. Stay tuned! #Mizzou #MIZ

@butterstickfrog @datzoulou @PowerMizzoucom Hilarious that you don’t pay for the subscription fee for the story you want to read

@datzoulou @PowerMizzoucom 1) Hilarious a media member doesn’t pay $8 a month for longer tweets 2) make a thread if your too poor for $8 a month 3) a video response even better

I asked Drink about his name being associated with other openings and hoo boy did he give an answer. I'll have a story as soon as possible.

W

@ThatEricAlper Dolly Parton

Who do you think is the most universally liked person in the world?

Mizzou fans & CoMo folks, you remember record-setting @MizzouFootball kicker Tom Whelihan. His wife Kristan, like Tom, a teacher in Columbia, is fighting two forms of cancer. Please consider donating and sharing her story. gofund.me/9a3b54b9

Classy move by the Sooner band trying to drown out the Folds of Honor video

I’ll be working the polls on Election Day so my little buddy joined me at the government center today to vote early. Now we wait 🤞#NursesVote

Drevyn Seamon just turned on the jets, sprinting 72-yards for a touchdown off a screen pass. Seamon can move and is a threat when he touches the ball. Two-point attempt is failed, but the Bruins lead 19-13 with 5:07 remaining in the third quarter. @CoMoSports

Quick thread: This man saved my life on Friday night in Columbia, Missouri Mr. Jack Foster, a @MizzouFootball fan While at dinner w/ our SEC Network crew, I began to choke on a piece of food. Immediately I knew it was serious and motioned to our table that I couldn’t breathe

I’m a veteran, a hunter, and I was a better shot than most Republicans in Congress. I believe the Second Amendment. But I also believe that our first responsibility is to keep our kids safe.

@MizzouAthletics @KatCastner @MizzouFootball @CollSportsComm Welcome, Kat!

Please join us in welcoming @KatCastner, the new Director of Football Communications for Mizzou Athletics! #MIZ 🐯

@crick_critter I bought Lucky jeans in the 90’s that came brand new with the “skoal ring”

my mom: did you buy those jeans used? me: yah why my mom: (points)

BREAKING: The Kennedy family just endorsed President Biden over RFK Jr. and Donald Trump.

#MIZ Tiger football, baby!

@fuzzyfromyt Middle schoolers

I straight up have never seen a single human drinking Prime. Who is drinking this enough for them to beat GATORADE 😂

@amybett We keep kitty litter in the nurses office to dispose of medication. That’s it.

Whenever anyone talks about litter boxes in schools for kids who identify as cats- I ask for proof. I’ve throughly searched online and found NONE. Reality: Some teachers use litter in buckets for emergency urination needs during lockdown drills. bit.ly/3Hma9SH #MOleg