joe

If I had to explain the Internet to an uncontacted tribe, and for the sake of argument they just happened to speak English, I would tell them it's a place where the measure of success is how many people's time you can waste and for how long.

@rickasaurus Mine lasts months between charges. So long that I forget it's battery powered every time it dies. 2-3 times a year I plug in a USB charger for awhile and I'm good to go.

I don't need a wireless keyboard man, it was an idiot move to put a battery into the keyboard just to avoid a tiny wire.

@wisconsin_now All of us could simultaneously apply for assistance with all of the programs, overwhelming and breaking the system. They would have no choice but to implement better filtering.

The real scam is SSI. A cop told me that there are some blocks of Milwaukee where like 80% of the people are on SSI. The cop dealt with one woman with like seven kids who was making like $8K a month and driving a luxury car because the kids were all in different programs. And no one is doing a thing about it.

@JimmyTraina That 9/10ths is about as useful as changing the clocks twice a year.

Why do gas stations still do the 9/10ths thing? Are there really people who don’t think $3.99 and 9/10 isn’t $4. Just make it $4 and cut the shit already.

On the last day of a guy who used to work with us, they put a gay pride magnet on his bumper and a suction cup dildo under his backup camera. He backs in everywhere so when he left the office he just pulled out and didn't see it. When he got to the grocery store by his house an hour away he was able to pull straight through into a spot and again didn't see it. It wasn't until he got home that he finally went to back into his driveway and it popped up on the camera.

Her reverse camera showed a shopping cart

@BarryRoland19 A waitress told us something a couple of years ago that I always forget until it's too late. If you get desert first, your leftover dinner is easier to take home. She has a point.

They say you shouldn’t treat dessert as a “prize” or as something “forbidden” with your toddlers, because then they’ll crave them even more. Rather, the move is to just treat them like any other food that you occasionally eat, without strings attached. So today, when my 4yo reached for some carrot sticks, I slapped them out of her hand and on to the floor, and aggressively told her, “no! You can only have one!” Let’s see if I can undo her ice cream addiction.

@skylarromines @realEstateTrent

@realEstateTrent Everybody has a schtick now. Authenticity is on life support

Crazy how you’ll hear someone on a podcast and they’ll give a completely different narrative than they do in real life and off-the-record.

@sciencegirl Needs a different faucet. Less point, more waterfall.

An almost flat sink design What are your thoughts

@riscvprogram So in a nutshell, it's like a house full of 3 & 4 way light switches in circuit board form?

Biggest lie in FPGA: “Just learn Verilog and you’re good.” Wrong. Here’s the truth 👇

@acheronix If they had the conviction to get it tattooed, I'm letting them use it. They're testing away from everyone else though.

ok here’s my question: if you were a professor how would you deal with this? force them to wear long sleeves?

@blind_via Bluetooth.

Does anybody still use dedicated audio cards, or are all the modern audio tech just usb?

He grabbed a grease bucket from under the grill and slung it at the wall on the front line before yelling "fuck this I quit". Grease went everywhere, covered the register, the menu board, everything. They were still cleaning grease out of crevasses a year later. The funniest part is when he went to kick the door to the managers office open and get personal belongings the first time, he slipped in grease and busted his ass.

What's the worst way you've seen someone quit a job? One of my favorites: A guy wrote a program that texted his boss every second until he got paid... with a 200MB picture attached.

@digitalshane_ Oh it happens with all of them. I just chuckle when I feed something they gave me back into them and they tell me MY code has some issues.

I'm not joking, I had Claude write a big batch of code last night. I am troubleshooting rn. I asked it to review, It said this is trash code and it needs completely reworked. We are spending credits to run in circles.

@mitchellvii Light silver and tan were by far the easiest colors to deal with when I detailed Lincolns decades ago. Black was the worst. White was easy to restore, but needed daily rinses to not look dusty. Pearl white was a nice compromise between white and silver.

I swear I will never own a black car again for the rest of my life. It is too damned difficult to keep it clean. My last car was a pearl white color, and I swear that thing could be filthy and it still looked clean.

@Turbo_Fucker Something about never carrying all your eggs in one basket.

Whats weird about farming is that you'll meet guys that are running like 70 acres combined pasture all in random 2-5 acre lots scattered around a damn canyon valley and theyre doing great, supporting the whole extended family. And then theres guys running 1000 acres on the flats bitching they cant make any money

@EntitledCycling @alyssaleann He considers them to be the same device...

@alyssaleann I'm more curious about why either device has a static ip

got a weird error today. turns out our dishwasher had the same IP address as my laptop not loving this era of tech. why the hell did my husband connect our dishwasher to the internet?? why is that even an option!?

It comes and goes, as new overpasses and bypasses get built. Google has absolutely ruined the "Batman Entrances" though. There used to be a lot of significantly faster routes that most people had no idea existed, until Google started routing people through them. It went from being able to avoid the horrible traffic if you were local, to traffic just moderately sucking everywhere.

Great week in Florida… My only complaint is all the traffic lights that are every 1/4 mile and 20 mins long. I know first world problems but it would drive me nuts if I lived here. Takes 30 mins to drive 6 miles. Not including all the bridge draws. Better off living in the country side with open roads

It only bothers me if I don't know beforehand. I've walked into places wearing beach shorts and flip flops, only to see everyone else in suits and dresses more than once. Sometimes places also have outdoor seating and I've sat there instead of finding somewhere else, then went back another time dressed for the occasion. Sometimes the staff is rude instead of politely informing me of their dress code, which typically ends with me saying "Bitch I've never been here before", before walking out and never going back.

I’m noticing that quite a few restaurants in Florida require long pants and no hats, etc. Curious what people think of this.

@HowThingsWork_ Pulvasaurus Rocks.

Adding googly eyes to a pulverizer instantly makes the job better..

@giveashitnature It also attracts trespasser attack snakes.

Fences are out. Dead hedges are in. A dead hedge is exactly what it sounds like: branches, prunings, and woody cuttings stacked between upright stakes to form a boundary. It looks rustic. It costs nothing. And unlike a fence, it's alive with wildlife. Birds nest in it. Hedgehogs shelter in it. Beetles, bees, and spiders colonize the rotting wood. As it breaks down it feeds the soil and you just keep adding to it. Medieval farmers used dead hedges for centuries. We replaced them with vinyl fencing. Time to go back.

@grayphil27 @AmazingNature00 @LindaGrimshaw7 Into a nice little ball.

@AmazingNature00 @LindaGrimshaw7 So where does the lead go when they eat it and die?

This is called the Oniscidae. You may find them under a brick or a damp object. You may have felt disgusted and wondered why they exist in nature. Well, let me tell you, the oniscdae, better known as cochineal, is a subgroup of isopod crustaceans whose function is to remove harmful heavy metals from the earth such as mercury, cadmium and lead. They contribute to the cleansing of soil and groundwter to reaffirm the wisdom of nature. Do not damage them or spray pesticides!