Riley Lassin

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Riley Lassin

Riley Lassin

@rileylassin

Comedian. Actor. NYC

Manhattan, NY เข้าร่วม Aralık 2015
478 กำลังติดตาม775 ผู้ติดตาม
Riley Lassin
Riley Lassin@rileylassin·
Going on a date with a chef and I am dreading telling him I am gluten free.
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Riley Lassin
Riley Lassin@rileylassin·
A guy I hooked with recently asked if I was faking my snort when I laughed, it’s funny THAT is what he thought I was faking.
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Riley Lassin รีทวีตแล้ว
Andre D Thompson
Andre D Thompson@AndreDThompson·
A comedy show where dialogue is encouraged Pull up to @bklyncomedyclub Dec 19th 8pm
Andre D Thompson tweet media
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Riley Lassin
Riley Lassin@rileylassin·
I know we are fasting today but never have I been thirsty enough to send a booty call on Yom Kippur #Jewish #single
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Riley Lassin
Riley Lassin@rileylassin·
What a weekend for the Jews! Not only did we create the Bomb but we also created Barbie. There are a lot of things people call Jews but you have to admit, we have range.
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Qasim Rashid, Esq.
Qasim Rashid, Esq.@QasimRashid·
GOP: We are pro-life! So—free pre-natal care? GOP: No Extend child tax credit? GOP: No Paid family leave? GOP: No Universal pre-K? GOP: No Universal healthcare? GOP: No Gun reform? GOP: No How are you pro-life?🤔 GOP: Ban repro health access & increase women’s death
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Riley Lassin
Riley Lassin@rileylassin·
PCOS doctor: I am sorry your hair is thinning so badly, at least you have a nice face. I know what to put on my tinder bio now
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Neko White
Neko White@Neko_white93·
People went out on a submarine, the size of a mini van. Controlled by a Nintendo game cube controller, with parts on it being described as “improvised... humans don’t deserve this “top of the food chain” status any more.
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Riley Lassin
Riley Lassin@rileylassin·
Damn. Beautiful weddings makes me wanna get married right now
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Riley Lassin
Riley Lassin@rileylassin·
In the winter you want a cuffing buddy but what is it called if you want someone during a “it’s toxic air outside so now I am bored inside and want someone to cuddle with”
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n y i a.
n y i a.@nyeahhhsays·
I am getting my nails done tmmrw and haven’t picked out a design
n y i a. tweet media
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Riley Lassin
Riley Lassin@rileylassin·
Me rn in nyc
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Riley Lassin รีทวีตแล้ว
eat soup
eat soup@jasminericegirl·
"are u ok" NO my stomach hurts whenever i eat things that i like to eat
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