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@sammsherm

funny

United States เข้าร่วม Eylül 2011
376 กำลังติดตาม341 ผู้ติดตาม
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jake rhodes
jake rhodes@jakebrodes·
American and Texan here: Americans mostly use guns to kill their whole families or random people in road rage related incidents. Lots of times we use them to kill children too. Our 2nd amendment is 50% a cyanide pill we chew on all day and 50% a vanity project for suburban morons
Leanne 🍅☭@Leannenist

In reality

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Byronic Heroine
Byronic Heroine@byronicgirl·
The irony is that in a well-ordered society, this would be desirable: The government would be run by middle-aged people tasked with safeguarding the common good, the spirited youth would have fun and build lasting friendships, and the old would remain home and occasionally aid in child-rearing. Instead, we live in a gerontocracy of out-of-touch vampiric boomers, the middle-aged are exhausted wage slaves who will never afford retirement, and the young are either nihilist consumers in for a rude awakening or radicalized by the internet but lacking political agency. The ideal *should* be to have a spirited, carefree youth but this only works when the adults in charge are actually doing their part to protect and *pass down* the common good.
Jesse Watters@JesseBWatters

Spring Break goes WILD☀️ 🍺🤪 and the students have NO IDEA what’s going on🤣 “The BIGGEST issue in America is what BIKINI I’m wearing tomorrow”👙 “We’re going to war with IRAQ that’s been crazy”🤔 “I’ve NEVER heard the word Ayatollah in my life”🫢 “Is Venezuela in SPAIN?”😬😬😬

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Tony Roundtree
Tony Roundtree@Tonywithyy·
Having an NFL draft take so bad that you have to start posting like my aunt on Facebook is honestly kinda impressive
Dan Orlovsky@danorlovsky7

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Jared Gilman
Jared Gilman@realJaredGilman·
they should do a version of the pitt but it’s about a hitman that walks into an acting class
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Headquarters
Headquarters@HQNewsNow·
Noah Wyle speaks out against the Ellison family trying to buy Warner Bros. Discovery: "These consolidations are usually really great for shareholders, and not usually great for the labor force."
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Walter White Memes
Walter White Memes@WalterWhite_xD·
Walter White Memes tweet media
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•
@yducknow·
sometimes i wish jobs didn’t exist and that humans were free to just enjoy their existence on this planet.
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Brian Schmid
Brian Schmid@SchmanthonyP·
I have never seen a picture of Jim Downey that looks like any other fucking picture of Jim Downey.
Brian Schmid tweet mediaBrian Schmid tweet media
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Jimmy
Jimmy@ProductionsJAW·
First impressions, this is the first one of his films that's properly looked like a Spider-Man movie rather than an MCU plot-filler. No Iron Man nostalgia, no multiverse shit, just... a normal film. And it *looks* like a film too. Not a huuuuge fan of organic webs, but we roll.
Spider-Man@SpiderMan

A Brand New Day starts now. Watch the official trailer for Spider-Man: Brand New Day - exclusively in theatres July 31.

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LateNighter
LateNighter@latenightercom·
Conan O'Brien has "a standing offer" to host the Oscars "as long as he wants"—or at least until 2029, when the show leaves ABC for YouTube. dlvr.it/TRX0GQ
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LateNighter
LateNighter@latenightercom·
"I know we're tight, but to retract a microphone on a man while he's speaking... is hilarious"—Conan O'Brien at the Oscars
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🤡@sammsherm·
I swear, this show consistently manages to find something to make it one of the best TV events of the year lmao #Oscars
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