Dr. CuckyKeys, MD. Esq

putting a thong back on after pooping feels like a sin

@cannibal_retard @Airlessv @MisterGravyBoy @facetedcarapace Oh Lord

@Airlessv @MisterGravyBoy @facetedcarapace Neither cause cancer, what's your point?

Everyone hates preservatives until it's time to buy hamburger buns and you want them to last longer than 36 hours without becoming fuzzy and green

@MisterGravyBoy @facetedcarapace People are afraid of what they don't understand- sake as not knowing what's in the dark. Difference is you can just fucking Google the shit on a bag of cheetoes and see most of it is variations of corn

@facetedcarapace I get there are probably specific types of preservatives that are bad for you, but is there any argument against them in general besides "scary science stuff must be bad"?

@facetedcarapace bunga

@facetedcarapace I'm currently a baker and people get mad at me that the hamburger bunga every single day don't last "like the bag kind does". I'm so sick of the conversation I pretend I can't speak English

@judejon_ @billybrizzle420 For 5 years? Colon? What?

@billybrizzle420 I'm sorry to say that was love-bombing. True love is only possible in a brief window of your early 30s when you still have the naivety of youth but your colon is showing the delicate lustre of experience

It’s crazy how you get to experience genuine love exactly one time in your mid 20s and then never again

Me and the boys are cracking a couple cases of yoo-hoo later if you wanna swing by

@u_n_l_0_c_k_e_d Living in the cold?

guy at a mexican halal place "uh yeah, i'll have the inshalladas"

sometimes you just have to do something that puts you in extreme danger for reasons not clear to you or anyone less

@YucketySux happily

if you were loud and drunk and i was a cheeseburger would you please fucking eat me

@billybrizzle420 Ordering a pina colada with a CRAZY amount of whipped cream at a dive bar and receiving a look from the bartender that might actually explode my head

My cocktails of choice have gotten progressively more feminine as I’ve gotten older. I use to pound light beers and whiskey in mg teens/early 20s. Mid 20s I was a vodka club guy. I drank a limoncello spritz yesterday. Delightful

@u_n_l_0_c_k_e_d I'm not sure there's a more perfect string of words you could have written

@scrumble_eggs one million mitch mcconnells

so horny I’m getting back in touch w my spirituality

@u_n_l_0_c_k_e_d ..... Hey what are you up to later

@uglybob0 @_Pulpsicle >:(

@_Pulpsicle I am the best failure of a husband there evah was

Putting this on my tombstone

@u_n_l_0_c_k_e_d yeah ur "User" again. Probably because Ive been reporting you every hour on the hour

Thinking about how I probably don’t post good enough

I’m really just looking for a Tom and Jerryuationship right now, nothing serious