Chicory the Pedestrian

In her new memoir, actress Christina Applegate shares devastating diary entries from the time she got pregnant but sacrificed her child in 1991. The "Married with Children" star clearly knows exactly what's happening as she chooses her career over the life of the baby, who she says "to this day, I know" was a daughter. "I love this being… I always felt that if I ever got pregnant when I knew it was the wrong time, I wouldn’t have any problem having an ab**tion. ‘Oh, whatever. It isn’t even a baby yet.’ That’s bullsh*t. This creature’s incredible- makes me feel whole, safe." *** “I’m f*cking pregnant, and I’m k*lling my child on Thursday. I’m thinking, ‘Where the f*ck can I go to recuperate from m*rder?’" Applegate went on to write a poem to the unborn baby, asking for forgiveness. "Hello, little thing. I feel you every moment of my day. Such a tiny existence. Such an immense effect you have. You are a miracle. A tiny handed miracle. I love you, but you know your fate. It’s not your time. I know you didn’t make that decision, but it can’t be your time. You will live on, though. You will live through another. I hope you will forgive me, but I want you to know how you’ve changed me. You’ve opened my eyes. You’re letting me know something is more important than myself. But mommy can’t be with you right now. But know she loves you- more than any other miracle. And know that when it’s your time it will be your time."

I'm coming to believe that doomerism is actually more of a pathology than anything else, and I say this as a lifelong doomer. Low feelings of self-worth drive people to constantly predict 'the end', I think, because apocalypse will either end them or give them a chance to prove their worth to themselves and others via survival. Either is a 'sweet release' from gnawing feelings of inferiority of the type Ted K wrote about. Show me a doomer and I will show you a shitty childhood, a divorce, an addiction, disgruntlement with one's job, or some other dark compromising difficulty in the emotional life of said doomer. Happy, sunny, thriving people are NOT "dooming" about anything really ever. True -- there are moments in the lives of complex systems that point to breakdown, decay, collapse, and so on. But when one is constantly LOOKING for those moments rather than looking for optimism, hope, dynamism, and so on, it's straight-up a kind of psychological malady. This is especially true when there's a subtext of "I see the doom that all these other sheeple are too stupid to see," etc. I say this with no judgement in my heart. As I said, I myself have been a doomer since I was a little kid, and there are real reasons for that that jive with my thesis here. I don't know a single other 'doomsday prophet' in my circles about whom I cannot say the same thing. It is what it is, but it is for the best to call it what it is.

He is definitely right. I have heard from literal Québécois use Louisiana as a horror story for French heritage erasure. They do not play about that.

Making everything ugly is a powerful form of social engineering