Rach, Esq.

How your emails finds me

@Cactuscali1991 What about the moonlit floor?

Honestly if someone asked me to kiss them under the "milky twilight" I'd karate chop them.

@difficultpatty Lonchhhhh

I hate it when people post food pictures. It would make me so angry if people replied to this with delicious and savory food pictures.

@citizenkawala Hey, wait a second…

I think Boston is made up.

I have the personality of someone far more attractive than me

The store don’t have the Slip N Slide I wanted, so I bought a bunch of banana peels instead

He's not a boyfriend, he's a symptom

Hopefully this is the last time the US elects a president from Twitter.

an irish hello is getting punched in the face with a potato.

My discom has been officially bobulated

celebrating pi day by not knowing when to stop

My brain: Everything is going to be okay My Nervous System: Okay, but hear me out, what if we panicked anyway

I tried to live más but my body filed a formal objection

i’ll ask a ouija board before i ask chatgpt

I hate when “healthy me” does the grocery shopping

@SephInPhilly Deep water thinking

Whales get pods but squids don’t get squads? Explain.

@citizenkawala It looks like someone face-melded Jim Carey and Elon Musk 🤢

He got Bidened.

My flabber has been gasted.

@SephInPhilly My parents town (pictured) got lucky. Plenty of MA got 2 feet!

Howdy from the snowpocalypse

Going to a TJ Maxx and entering a fugue state would fix me