Moddey Doomp

Fuck every watermelon

(sitting on a couch staring at a tv that’s playing a compilation of every decision I’ve ever made) Ah, a testament to my feebleness. Oh I remember this one, my feebleness was guiding me. Interesting, how feeble of me. Yep. Testament to my feebleness. Feeble again, of course

my based son saxon just ordered a glass of milk

Been flowin' stupid since Vince Carter was on some through the legs arm in the hoop shit.

when I was 10 years old, Marlon McCree fumbled in the playoffs and my favorite uncle got really drunk. He drove off a cliff after grabbing my penis and balls

“Service members respect the path he almost took” has gotta be one of the funniest things I’ve read

75° in Sonoma county. Takanaka time

Let’s just put Herbert behind 5 guys with guns aimed directly at him. And every play they take turns firing shots at his legs

Don’t worry about it

@bryarea VIRGIN ALERT

just met a cute girl at the wedding i’m at like actually cute. objectively dangerous face card. we’re talking. vibes are immaculate. she’s laughing at my jokes. i’m in my bag. aura farming effortlessly. then sports get brought up, she says it “i watch baseball” my ears PERKED up i played it cool. i said “oh nice, what’s your team” she said “i’m a giants fan” and that’s where a normal person would’ve said “cool, me too” and gotten her number but i am not a normal person my brain instantly went into terminal mode and i said “what do you think of the rotation” she looked confused i kept going “mahle and houser? are you fucking kidding me? houser gave up 2 in 3 innings and i’m supposed to watch him for the next 2 years? instead of gallen or imai? i’d usually say i’d rather let the young arms throw but don’t even get me started on birdy and whis” she laughed nervously and said “what” and i said “don’t even get me started on luis arraez” she said “what” and i said “so do you even follow the team” she said “I literally have a luis matos jersey.” the vibe was GONE just vanished. nuked. just like matt chapman’s bat with runners in scoring position. her friend pulled her away. she didn’t look back. i was standing there alone at a wedding holding a drink i wasn’t even sipping, doing MENTAL MATH on how someone could claim to be a giants fan and think this team had anything but the worst offseason ever my cousin walked over and said “bro she looked just like your ex what happened” i said “she”s a casual” he said “so?” SO??? i then realized i would rather cut off my entire family than to share a bloodline with someone of the same species that couldn’t comprehend this she had a pretty face but a DISGUSTING perspective on life that i just couldn’t get behind could’ve had her number she could’ve been the mother of my children COULD’VE. but now at least she knows i know ball and honestly that’s worth more

Arizona Wildcats

Heading back to Jefferson. Hallelujah

@kangarooojax It’s not right is it

JUST IN: 🇺🇸 President Trump to interview BlackRock CIO Rick Rieder for Federal Reserve Chair.

Average Justin Herbert interview: “everything was my fault. I have to be better. It’s not their fault.” Average Justin Herbert LINEMAN interview: *crying* i dunno what I coulda done better *sniff* i was so good *snort* nobody agrees with me *snot dripping*

🤴🧲Alpha Male Babe Magnet! 🧲 🤴

This play made me so sad

Season ends with Bozeman completely whiffing and Herbert getting crushed. Very fitting

@KyleMaloof It’s 2006 for the rest of my life

Greg Roman must be jailed