Captain Rob 💙💛🤍

Five books...two series, lots of dead people and much chortling and snort laughs. Six Idiots Witness a Murder (3 books) The Assassins' Social Club (2 books) Available on Amazon and Kindle 😀

@naughtymom101 Roll up for a free frying pan! 😂

@CaptainRandom10 Uhhh. Tempting. Kitchen supplies are always needed ... 😂😂😂

I have decided to give a money-back guarantee on my books! If you don't like one of my books, bring it to my house for a full refund. 💰 You'll also get my foot up your arse, closely followed by the book and whatever kitchen implements I have lying around. 😂 #writingcommunity

@J_Eden09 @England @wembleystadium Agree! Although the FA wouldnt have liked it when 90% of the fans would have been cheering for the opposition manager 😊

@England @wembleystadium Should of done the Uruguay game at elland road #lufc

A sold-out @WembleyStadium awaits vs Uruguay! 🏟️ Tickets are still available for the #ThreeLions' second 'send-off series' fixture vs Japan 👇

@Meredith_author I agree...we all have too much stuff anyway.

For anybody who's read one of my books and is planning to re-read it....you do realize you have to buy another copy, don't you? Don't be cheap, but yourself a spare 😂

@AliceLBronte Cheese on toast is highly underrated 😊

I make a good cheese on toast. And no, that doesn't mean that's the limit of my cooking skills. I can do a stir-fry, a soup...

Moon Waterfall

@ElementasSeries Best advice I ever heard was for men going on a first date to write down the colour of the woman's eyes and get it tattooed on their hand in case they ever got asked 😁

Romance novels teach us that the love interest is obsessed with the MC's eye color. But after 11 years, my husband still has no idea what color my eyes are.

@ElementasSeries And it's not building a lot of tension because if it is episode 4 of a 22 week run you know the heroes are going to survive 😁

@CaptainRandom10 Oh I HATE that. It's so annoying to me. The build-up is never worth it, either.

I might be the minority here, but I don't need the first sentence to WOW me. This instant gratification culture is toxic. What happened to easing into a good story?

@ammcevoy10 You know my posts are all humourous don't you?

@CaptainRandom10 "Tell tale tit, Your tongue shall be slit And all the little birdies Will all have a bit."

I don't know why I'm not popular at work 🤷‍♂️ I always tell the manager when people are late, let my slow colleagues finish their work rather than help them, let everyone know when it's their turn to make coffee and volunteer our team to stay late on Fridays if we're behind. 😊😳

@jaredleys Oh yes... People have said that and demanded a sequel which was even more engaging and annoyed them even more.

@CaptainRandom10 This book sounds far too enjoyable and engaging.

Convince me NOT to read your book in the style of a 1-star review.

This explains a lot of people....😁

If hurting one kid isn't efficient enough, get the patented 'Acme Kid Basher - Duo Edition' 😁

Don't you just hate changing the bed sheets? 😟 I had to do it this morning and still can't believe how fast the last 6 months have flown by.

👑

Hidden Message Mug

@wendypink224 They only offer one of these in the vending machine at work...😁

So, coffee then?

@deidrejowen Have you punched my friend in the face as well? 😱 😂

@CaptainRandom10 Hahahaha definitely relatable for me 😅

Just put on my sweater with the wrong arm first and suddenly I was 5 years old and tangled in my own clothes 🥴

It looks small but, having been there 6 or 7 times, it's a lot of walking!