Pat Stedman | Dating & Relationship Coach for Men@Pat_Stedman
The evil of male sexual desire is the entire metaphysical operating principle of the modern church. Even female sexuality is not stigmatized in the same way because it is considered responsive - if a woman is promiscuous or does porn, it's only because there was male demand for it. Women are not really to blame you see, because if men didn't want sex, women would never have made the mistakes they did.
The male sex drive is the original sin. And accordingly, a good "godly" christian man is a man who has entirely suppressed or controlled it.
This is why porn is such a fixation for the church - it's an indication a man is indulging this drive. The issue is not so much that he is wasting his life force or acting like a deselected loser, which is why many secular men are opposed to porn. In modern christianity, porn use is a proxy for having sex on the mind period. This is the same reason a very vocal number of trad wives feel no moral obligation to be sexy or sexually available for their husbands. A man needing sex is a fundamental moral corruption.
This is also why the church shuns men who are assertive and convey any sexual interest in women. They want "nice guys" who are willing to accept the framing that their sex drive is evil and who agree to hide it. Never mind that this sort of culture creates the perfect conditions for endemic porn usage - all that sexual shame and frustration needs an outlet somewhere. Far worse is that it creates men that the women don't desire to begin with.
The result of all of this is a sterile culture where nobody is forming relationships. If they occur at all, it is between neurotic, controlling women and passive, compliant "servant" men. But in recent years as the rot has deepened, even this is happening less. The women are stuck in a bind where the men they want are considered bad Christians, yet the good Christians are men they don't want. And they are tied up in knots because even when a good, masculine Christian man makes them feel turned on, many of these women have so much shame they feel guilty about showing it. This discomfort eventually makes the women project blame onto the man and sabotage things, even if he never took advantage of it.
All of this is why men have been leaving the church in droves, and why you are hearing more and more men state plainly that the church destroyed their lives. The culture and environment that exists today is actively hostile to finding a wife and becoming a man. Yes, there are exceptions. But most of these institutions haven't simply become useless due to their inability to help people navigate the modern world, they've actively made things worse by distorting instincts; permitting what shouldn't be permitted and judging what shouldn't be judged.
There's a reason most of the masculine men you see in there today are new converts, and why the majority of ones under 40 with healthy polarized marriages typically met their wife in the secular world. And theres a reason these people are all frustrated by what they see, in spite of their faith. The church is sick. It calls itself pro-life, but only in the most limited sense is this true, because it has rejected the vital energy that creates life to begin with.
There will be a tendency of some to blame one denomination or another for what I am describing. I would encourage you all to take the specks out of your own eyes. I have worked with protestants, catholics, orthodox, and even mormons. Some are worse than others, but all are affected. It is a cancer that transcends doctrine.
If it's not excised it will become existential not just for Christianity, but the West itself.