Andy In Banstead

@GuardianQuitter @benonwine Or teenage sons?

@benonwine What's the point in naming something that will ignore you when you call it's name. Take cats for example.....

Saw some gorgeous baby Geese on my way home. 🥰 ☺️ Right serious question… what do you actually call baby geese? 😂🪿🤷‍♂️

@JamesCleverly They’re being consistent James. They don’t want any foreign flags on public buildings whether they support the cause or not. It’s a move away from the two tier policies of the current rabble in govt and the halfwits that preceded them

One of the first decisions made by Essex Reform was to remove the Ukrainian flag from County Council HQ. Let that sink in. bbc.co.uk/news/articles/…

@djjordan23uk @Bankersbonus1 I was using round numbers to make it simple for the people who struggle with concepts. I know the sales person only gets part of the fee, that doesn’t change the behaviours. It’s still the case that estate agents would rather sell cheaply today than work to get the max price

@AndyInBanstead @Bankersbonus1 You’ve no idea 1) They’re not getting 2%. 2) The salesman doesn’t get the money, the company does and he’ll get his bit. 3) A property is worth what someone is prepared to pay, so if it’s not selling, ITS NOT WORTH THAT!

Estate agents have told us we should drop our price another 10% as the only houses selling are those that have reduced their price. We already dropped from 3 years ago. So we are going to stay. House off the market.

@thesundaysport @cannock666 Itsa not so bad, itsa nice-a place..

@cannock666 You gotta no respect

Until Joe Dolce weighs in, I'm not interested.

@durbs75 @SartorialThug The boys are out of the barracks

@SartorialThug I fear the lining had perished!

Burnham's running shorts were close to being obscenely short but they are probably, just, covered by "participating in a sport" in my standard reply below. I will not post the picture as I'm sure many of you need your lunch to settle. x.com/i/status/20409…

@durbs75 @CameronYardeJnr Look at what you could have won

@CameronYardeJnr You take that back! You can’t beat a bit of Bully!

Deep down everybody knows that Big Break is a superior and more entertaining quiz than Bullseye.

@sophielouisecc A pink Floyd album from the 70’s

Right I’ll bite What is a ‘Chuka Umunna’ ?

@MullinsMartin @PatrickChristys When you order Bono from Temu…

@PatrickChristys Oh sweety. You're the biggest prick out there. If only your dad had pulled out

Spare a thought for this bunch of insufferable pricks today

@tomhfh Wasn’t that a Pink Floyd album?

Chuka Umunna has just gone in to Downing Street???

@thesundaysport @JohnSlinger Gives you somewhere to hang your tea towels though

@AndyInBanstead @JohnSlinger Stare into the cat's arse for long enough, and the cat's arse begins to stare back

Proverbs that come to mind today: “The grass is always greener” “Be careful what you wish for”

@tompeck @KevinASchofield Does kier have a big plate he takes with him?

@KevinASchofield "Where's the rest of the cabinet?" "They've gone to Longstanton spice museum..."

real closure of pear tree productions vibes here...

@thesundaysport @JohnSlinger Wasn’t it Nietzsche that first said that?

@JohnSlinger 'When your dick's in the cat, don't whistle for the dog'

@benonwine A relative on Boxing Day.

What’s easier to remove than Keir Starmer? Get creative everyone.

@bushontheradio Rainbow

What TV show intro theme do you hear in your head following THIS?

@gilescoren @Gav_Griffiths @GreggsOfficial I’ve always like you Giles, seeing that you share a sensible aversion to brown sauce only makes you go even higher in my (frankly irrelevant) estimation.

@Gav_Griffiths @GreggsOfficial Absolutely not. “No sauces except with breakfast!” But in that instance it would have been a blessing, as brown sauce is for cleaning machinery not putting on food.

Bought a sausage roll at @greggsofficial in an Esso service station on Sunday and the lady refused to give me ketchup! She had a big bottle right there but said “my manager says it’s only for breakfasts.” It was 1030am - it WAS my breakfast. Weird policy. thetimes.com/article/dc1835…

@alonso_hoyt @narindertweets @jdpoc Labour’s got it all sorted, Kier’s bringing back Gordon Brown. 😉

@narindertweets @jdpoc I seem to remember you having a meltdown over Reform voters but apparently there’s nothing to worry about then is there? Labour should just keep doing what they’re doing, right?

The media has us believing that Reform took over the country. But the reality is this. How embarrassing

@bushontheradio Anything other than a quarter of cola cubes and you’re a wrong’un Bush lad.

In a sweet shop. What should I get?

@HelenWebberley You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows

I still find it insane how people with zero medical training have such strong opinions on trans healthcare

@freelifefreewil @Maddogk312 @Jenny_1884 I think the correct answer is that he shouldn’t have married Diana.

@Maddogk312 @Jenny_1884 I agree! Charles should never have married the mistress.

I’m not sure if anyone else feels the same but I don’t like it when Camilla is called Queen. Our Queen died. She’s not the Queen