Ben Kester
20.3K posts

Ben Kester
@BenKester
Unwinding abuse, debugging society, anti Hanlon's razor, POSIWID. he/him. Your tough life experiences are probably not your fault. tw: alcohol

Reminder that Starmer enthusiastically defended Israel’s food and water siege on Gaza





they "ended up" in a mass grave


By the way, the leaked pause news the other day was 100% intentional. White House wanted to see how markets would react if/when they needed to excerise their put. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.


What she's saying is common and she's not wrong - women do bear a disproportionate amount of childcare and housework, and when both parents have jobs, this inevitably creates resentment towards the dads, who tend to be less proactive towards these tasks. It's good sense to communicate and develop a clear division of labor. What isn't mentioned, however, is that a large part of the problem is also the perfectionistic and neurotic tendency of moms who can't relax or let go. Dads routinely end up on the receiving end of demands that aren't in fact necessary, especially in the moment, but become relationship-threatening "neglect" because the mom's own expectations and anxiety turn them into referenda on how he feels about her. Take her example of the trash - her man was running late for work and didn't take it out. She says this wasn't a good excuse, because him not doing this made *her* late for work - but that's actually not the case. She could have left it. The overflowing trash was gross but wasn't going to do anything for a few more hours. It wasn't her responsibility anyway, and there's no doubt he would have dealt with it when he got home when he saw it. And odds are the shame of the mess would mean he'd take care of it sooner in the future. He'd know if he didn't do it, no one would - it would be all on him. This approach may sound frustrating to women, but if you want your man to do things, you need to learn to leave him space to do them - even if he's taking longer to do them (or does them differently) than you'd like. You cannot nag and emasculate a man, and then feel upset when he inevitably distances himself from you and avoids the task. You cannot ask for a man to lead, and then continually question his leadership. The fact that many women do not understand this is proof how many well-meaning women don't know how to be feminine.




The internet has killed the male fantasy of meeting a pretty girl who doesn't know how pretty she is











