Elodes

I'm proud to announce that my Three Hundred Ways series of blog posts is now available as a full-fledged book on Gumroad! Follow @300waysproject to get the contents in your X feed. Retweets appreciated. I'm grateful for your support throughout the years. ————・𖥸・————

@LemmySmackett Incredible work (as always)

"Oh Natalie, this is great. We haven't gotten coffee together in forever. How are you and Doug doing these days anyway?" "We're divorced." "Oh my God." "I have spent countless nights praying." "When did that happen?" "He signed the papers last week—" "Wow." "—after dodging me for the previous three." "So like, this just happened happened. Like recently." "I don't really—" "No, girl, no. You're not holding out on me. I gotta know." "Valerie, please." "Nat, look at me. Look." "What?" "Did he beat you?" Natalie rolls her eyes. "No, he didn't beat me." "Good. Cuz if he beat you, I've been waiting to put his scrawny kombucha-sippin' ass in an S-mount armbar for years." "Valerie!" "You don't even know. Every time I go to my Brazilian jiu-jitsu pilates class, every single time, I fantasize about what would happen if I wrapped Doug in a corkscrew kimura and he didn't tap out." "Jesus." "And he wouldn't tap out either. Prick." "I didn't know you felt the way about him. You two were always so nice to each other." "I was cordial, Nat. Real cordial." "What did he do that made you hate him so much?" "He said some shit about Ice Spice—" "Ice Spice?" "—and the only person I take shit from is Ice Spice, in the form of shit-themed bars." Natalie scoffs. "Okay, well, that's my husband, Val." "Ex-husband." "True." "So if he didn't beat your ass he must have been cheating on it." "You never were one to mince words." "Just people. Did he cheat?" "Well..." "Girl." "Sort of." "Giiiirl." Natalie sighs. "Okay, okay, listen: it all started when he got a pair of those immersive reality glasses." "You mean like the Meta Ray-bans—" "Yeah." "—where you pay a monthly subscription so some jerk-off indians in Jamtara can watch you take a piss." "I mean, they're just trying to do their jobs, Val." "They're trying to do something, alright." "And I don't think Meta Ray-bans even have a subscription..." "You mean they don't have a subscription *yet*." "True." "Anyway, it doesn't matter. They should be paying *me* a subscription for piss peeking privileges." "Anyway—" "My BJJ pilates instructor says I'm one of the best pissers in the game: heavy flow, consistent stream—" "ANYWAY! Doug got these glasses, not Meta Ray-bans, and they let him use AI to do a visual graphic overlay of anything." "Okay." "So of course the first thing he does is turn me into a big titty tomboy catgirl maid." "Ah. So you divorced him." "Well, no." "Really?" "I'm like already 80% of that anyway." "I guess." "I just asked him not to make me the third wheel in my own marriage by turning me into an existing character. You know, like Princess Peach." "Or the Squirrel from The Sword in the Stone." "The what?" "Huge online fandom." "Huh." "You don't want to know." "Okay. So, you know, I'm the anime girl of his dreams and for a while, it's fine." "Fine? "Great actually." "*Really.*" "Really! Overnight, he became the most passionate and attentive lover I've ever had. It was like I married a new man." "And all you had to do was become a new two-dimensional woman." "And for three months we were in our own little Roger Rabbit paradise and we were happy. Until we got the cat." "A cat?" "A purebred Persian. It originally belonged to his aunt, who died in a freak indoor roller coaster accident." "Oh my God." "Went straight off the track at 60 MPH and slammed into a 40-foot-high rock wall which then collapsed onto a bustling indoor putt-putt course." "Oh my God." "Anyway, he uh, I don't know how to say this—" "Nat." "He used the glasses on the cat." "Excuse me." "He turned it into me." "What kinda freaky ass—" "The anime me." "So you divorced him." "Not yet." "Girl!" "It was a joke! He did it as a joke. The first time." "Uh huh." "He kept going 'Big wife, Little wife, Big wife, Little wife, Big wife—'" "Doug would do some shit like that." "And then one day, a few months later, I'm cleaning the house—" "As a maid does." "Cute. And I find his glasses lying on the sofa and I put them on—I don't know why—and I see that he's been recording video. Hundreds of videos." "Uh oh." "And they're all romantic roleplay sessions with me—" "Oh. Hey, I don't want to hear about your guys' freakshow, alright?" "—except it's not me, it's the cat!" "Say what." "Made to look *like* me. The anime me!" "You're telling me Doug was sweet-talking the pussy and the pussy was dressed to look like you. Digitally." "It's worse. He wasn't just talking. He was reciting handwritten poetry!" "Girl." "I couldn't believe it!' "It's a hell of a world when a man turns to digital pussy when he has perfectly good analog pussy in the home. I mean, I guess it's both analog pussy but—" "I didn't know what to say or do! I just kept watching video after video after video." "He was fuckin' the pussy, wasn't he?" "No, thank God." "There's a surprise.' "Doug's always had trouble expressing himself to people and, I think, without meaning to, he turned to the cat to meet his needs. But just emotionally." "I haven't fantasized about hurting this man enough." "But it does get worse." "How the hell can it get worse?!" "Eventually, I find a video of us, making love and I, uh...I..." Natalie trails off, struggling to maintain her composure. "Oh, girl." Valeria reaches over and takes her hand. "I know it's hard to see something like that. To remember when you were in love, carefree." Natalie shakes her. "It's not that. It's worse. So much worse." "Just take your time, sweetheart. What did he do?" "He turned me...he turned me..." Natalie's voice cracks as she throws back her head and cries. "Into the cat!" --- [m][title: AI Cat Wife]

@TylerAlterman @sun_girlxo 🫡🫡

@ElodesNL @sun_girlxo see u in the orange realms

There was once a time when Twitter was actually perfect. It was pretty easy to cultivate a feed that let you regularly have genuine interactions, meet cool people, and read interesting thoughts

@TylerAlterman @sun_girlxo perfect! thanks a bunch.

@ElodesNL @sun_girlxo Add yourself using this form! tyleralterman.notion.site/2f0ff954ab4980…

@TylerAlterman @sun_girlxo Can I apply to be on here? I'm at Looks to the Moon: elodes.substack.com

@sun_girlxo We can do it again on tpoot (this part of orange twitter): tyleralterman.notion.site/Orange-TPOT-tp…

with this final item, this X component of my 300 Ways project has come to an end. to celebrate this milestone, I have made the book available for free. thank you all for following along. ——————・𖥸・——————

@UntilTrees 🥰❤️❤️ It was so good calling with you man!

I have received many blessings this week, not least of all a lovely call with @ElodesNL . funny how quickly life can go from lost to blessed

Happy new year everyone 💝🎉

finally upgraded my TOTEM with custom-made engravings and invisible magnetic tenting + foldable stands. pleased to say it's probably one of the top keyboards in the world rn. I couldn't be happier with it!

@danielbrottman Sending you warmth, Daniel. We haven't talked often but I fondly remember our calls where you generously shared all about your Vipassana retreats. Your tweets have brightened up my TL throughout the years. Take care. Have strength 🫂

i'm really heartbroken right now. if anyone wants to cheer me up and reassure me from a sincere place that i'm worthy of being in a relationship that would be nice

I actually think that (with a small alteration) this graph shows the difference between kindness and niceness pretty well

@AnnaLeptikon @neovictorian23 What did you have? And what was it that seems to release you now from your pain? Glad things are looking up for you 🙏

@neovictorian23 Thanks for asking. Yes, 3rd day in a row pain free. The December feels like a kitschy on the nose season finale.

Fig.1 Accurate depiction of my last months.

@Aella_Girl I'm sorry for your loss. 🫂

Last week I got to be with my mom as she died from complications resulting from a genetic disorder. She was 66 and I loved her very much. This is why I'm doing embryo selection. I'll do anything to reduce the chances of my children suffering and dying like this.

@moonandmouth This one's something really special. I hope you'll enjoy it.

@Faithinyourmom fr fr. would love to grab a drink if you're ever in the Netherlands. ty for the analysis, keep doing you!

@ElodesNL i see why you have the followers you do. make consistently quality posts that appeal to a specific demographic I feel like. I would love to debate/talk through thoughts with you. Philopherizing buddy potential

Like this for a TBH about your account

@Romy_Holland @llallawg Gorgeous! I had no idea Gemini had gotten so good.

mother and child, c. 2025

@noa_tate_ @AmandaAskell Beautifully put.

@AmandaAskell the gospel is: here is something that is SO good, good enough that if you truly receive it you'll stop worrying that bad people are getting it too

The Bible really does contain a lot of stories where Jesus's followers are like "That person did a bad thing, should we go mess em up?" and Jesus is like "I don't know why I need to keep telling you guys this but no."

it should be possible to quickly save a series of tabs as a small piece of text. share entire tab sessions with people; save tab sessions in note-taking systems and mark them as being related to [[topic]]; etc. brain-context-states should be shareable units.

@sun_girlxo extremely based nabokov as always. nobody understands the act of writing like he does.

I'm having a great time exploring authors' creative processes Here's E. M. Forster in 1953 talking about how characters unexpectedly change the course of one's story, and Vladimir Nabokov in 1967 scoffing at that idea, saying his characters are "galley slaves"

@TylerAlterman isn't this the case for everything? there is no one christianity, no one feminism, no one EA. categories are always nominative lies trading accuracy for legibility; I figured people price that in when they use them, but maybe I'm wrong.

It took me until I was 30s to learn that the religion we know as "Hinduism" was a category invented by British colonialists Before the Brits there was no "Hinduism." There was a rich & enormous array of philosophical schools, folk religions, and communities nonexclusively devoted to, say, Kali or Krishna or Durga. (Hilarious to imagine the British being like, "How can you be monogam-ish with a god???") But confusingly, they seemed to be woven into a collective ecology, with pilgrimage networks, festivals, canonized epics, and shared concepts (dharma, moksha, etc) When the Brits arrived, it did not fit their way of categorizing things. They deemed this all too complicated for for admin purposes, so they lumped the enormous diversity under "Hinduism." They consulted some Indian scholars and then decided themselves what the authoritative scriptures were Then, in 1871, Indians were asked to choose only one of these doctrinal categories in the census: Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Jain, Christian. This forced millions of ppl to adopt a religious identity they'd never used before Finally – and this surprised me – several influential Indian intellectuals & reformers responded by promoting their own version of "Hinduism." In the 20th century, this identity got picked up by nationalist movements, cementing the identity even more I'm confused about why none of my Indian friends have ever told me about this when I just be throwing around the term "Hindu" like a noob??? Surely they know all of this right

@Romy_Holland Happy birthday! Happy for you ❤️

it’s my birthday! i’ve gone on some kind of trip every year, but this year i just had some pancakes and went on a little hike with my fiancé and baby and i’m content as can be. it’s weird but i feel like i need much less now to be happy. i have a constant deep contentment knowing that my baby exists, and i like the pull of his gravity. it feels good, like a weighted blanket.