Man in the sky

I speak Trumpian so let me translate this: "Stephen Colbert emotionally triggered me tonight as he said something critical of me that I actually recognize as most likely true and I am afraid that other people will see it as most likely true also. This scares me, and makes me kind of sad (but I don't like to go there) and I am also very afraid of Stephen's (and CBS's) overall reach and influence on the general public." 🙏

Since the president’s speech an hour ago, oil prices are up $5 a barrel and stock market futures are down 1%. Going to be a wild night on Truth Social. And I’m still not sure what the hell he said.

@kevin_nealon Never. (Must be a trick question/statement ⬆️). Everybody knows it is *physically impossible* for a fart to lose its comedic value under *any* circumstance. Don't blame me- look it up. #it's_science

Farts lose their comedic value at the urinal

Umm... so it *is* just about trying to limit/disenfranchise Democrat voters?

Lindsey Graham has a secret.

@mattvanswol You may want to reflect on some of the choices you are making in life, in this case your political choices. It sounds like people around you (whether you like, care about and/or respect them- or not) are trying to tell you something.

Real talk… What do you do when people you’ve known forever basically cut you off because you’re openly pro-Trump/MAGA now? How do you handle that?

@aawalters91 @brithume What was the "hoax," Angela?

@brithume He had every right to say that considering what Mueller had done to him! Mueller was a liar and a bad dude! The whole hoax put Trump and his family through hell!

This is the kind of stuff Trump does that makes people not just oppose him but hate him. There was no need to say anything.

@brithume I agree. Ask yourself, "what kind of man would say this?" What type of man? These types of statements give us all a tremendous amount of insight into the kind of man trump is. And oh man, it is not pretty.

Don’t EVER let your printer know you’ve waited until the last minute and you’re in a hurry, because it can sense fear.

@kevin_nealon It's like a carousel- up, down, around- you've gotta to feel it

@McFaul I think it's because the first people into the Strait are going to get really hurt, there will probably be alot of casualties, and he doesn't want it to be only Americans. He doesn't want to be seen as leading Americans into a tinder box.

The United States has the greatest navy in the world. Not really sure why Trump is begging for help to execute his war in the Strait of Hormuz. Can someone explain this to me?

"she could tighten up that triple-axel" I mumble to the television, cracking open my second sleeve of Oreos.

When you need to distract the nervous dog during a blood draw.. 😂 Sound on

@BenStiller 🙏

Catherine O’Hara. My goodness. Hard to explain the impact she had on comedy. For me, no one better. She was generational. Since SCTV she has been brilliant. Brilliant, brilliant. Funniest ever. Man. We lost a great. A true great. Sending love to Bo Welch and her family. So sad we lost her incredible presence among us. Will always look up to her. Man.

@kellyslater @Matt_Pinner Bowling

@Matt_Pinner Polo, water polo, soccer, golf, cricket, pool, rugby, lacrosse, Croquet, field hockey, Jai Alai, squash.

This is hard

@kellyslater @Matt_Pinner Tennis. Table tennis

@RepMikeCollins Haha. Is this a joke? "Albeit unauthorized?" Oh my god- this is comical.

On this day in history in 2021, thousands of peaceful grandmothers and others gathered in Washington, D.C., to take a self-guided, albeit unauthorized, tour of the U.S. Capitol building. Earlier that day, President Trump held a rally, where supporters walked to the Capitol to exercise their First Amendment right about the irregularities of the 2020 election. During this time, some individuals entered the Capitol, took photos, and explored the building before leaving. Afterwards, hundreds of peaceful protestors were hunted down, arrested, held in solitary confinement, treated unjustly and crucified in the media. Countless hours and taxpayer dollars were spent pursuing grandmothers and raiding President Trump’s home, while terrorists and millions of illegal immigrants crossed our nation’s borders, causing havoc in our communities. Fortunately, this version of the DOJ exists only in history.

@PurpleHearts4 @RepMTG Umm...bless you, but unfortunately I do not think that that is the correct/real reason that he does not want them released

@MikePeace_ @RepMTG I’m thinking that maybe he’s been threatened with his life or his son‘s life or his wife’s life because he would definitely want to get the bad people in jail but a lot of those bad people have bad friends & they could’ve threatened him & his family, he wanted to help Virginia+

President Trump just attacked me and lied about me. I haven’t called him at all, but I did send these text messages today. Apparently this is what sent him over the edge. The Epstein files. And of course he’s coming after me hard to make an example to scare all the other Republicans before next weeks vote to release the Epstein files. It’s astonishing really how hard he’s fighting to stop the Epstein files from coming out that he actually goes to this level. But really most Americans wish he would fight this hard to help the forgotten men and women of America who are fed up with foreign wars and foreign causes, are going broke trying to feed their families, and are losing hope of ever achieving the American dream. That’s what I voted for. I have supported President Trump with too much of my precious time, too much of my own money, and fought harder for him even when almost all other Republicans turned their back and denounced him. But I don’t worship or serve Donald Trump. I worship God, Jesus is my savior, and I serve my district GA14 and the American people. I remain the same today as I’ve always been and I will continue to pray this administration will be successful because the American people desperately deserve what they voted for. For me, I remain America First and America Only!!! ❤️🇺🇸

Congratulations to all the Democratic candidates who won tonight. It’s a reminder that when we come together around strong, forward-looking leaders who care about the issues that matter, we can win. We’ve still got plenty of work to do, but the future looks a little bit brighter.

Majority of voters, plurality of GOP say Hegseth should resign: Poll trib.al/nma3TRX