Term Limits Needed

@ThePanic16 She’s a perfect contrast to the boys.

@ThePanic16 Poor little thing. Her life had been turned upside down with loss.

I can’t get her to settle down. All she does is patrol like a robot vacuum, around the perimeter. She’s probably very confused about what has happened. I think she found my wife very soothing, but my wife has gone to bed.

@MCampbell1041 @USPS You should have seen the Invincible Hydrangeas I ordered last year due to shipping delays. Those poor things were in such bad shape the company I ordered from had to replace them.

I bought two fruit trees from Fedco in Maine that were shipped on the 25th. In days since @usps has moved them from New Hampshire to God knows where. They were scheduled to be delivered by today. WTF you clowns? These are living organisms FFS, or were. Get your shit together.

@ThePanic16 Roh roh

Zero has spotted the interloper

@Stewbiedo0 @TheGhoulestMom In addition to their candy, I used to buy my son a National Enquirer and my daughter a jar of polish dill pickles. It’s what they liked.

@TheGhoulestMom To this day I remember getting a superball in my Easter basket back when they were first invented. Promptly broke a window.

I love spoiling my kids as much as the next parent but all I ever see in Easter baskets is literal trash. Just a bunch of junk that gets tossed. What happened to some candy, chalk, and maybe bubbles lmao.

@ThePanic16 She’s so cute 🥰

We’ve added one to the pack. Meet Molly, the Maltese… from over near the Cumberland Plateau. My father’s / stepmother’s dog. She’ll stay in the valley of the Kings for a few weeks until we can figure out next-steps. I’m gonna introduce her to the boys soon, but not just yet.

@ThePanic16 So sorry for your loss.

They found my stepmother dead in her bathroom this morning. She was married to my father (the WW2 vet) for a very long time, until his passing last year. She was a decade younger than him. She also served her country as a medical professional in the army from early in her career. She loved and took care of my father, for which I am eternally grateful - R.I.P.

@SamaHoole Keith made my Monday 🐐

Dave's log, Sunday. 7:00am: "Keith is not in the field. Keith is not on the barn roof. Keith is not in the yard, the feed store, the polytunnel, or the oak tree. I have checked all seven gates. All seven gates are latched. I am going to get in the car." Dave got in the car. Keith was in the village. Specifically, Keith was in the churchyard. Not, to Dave's relief, in the church: the door was closed. Keith was in the churchyard eating the grass from around the older headstones, which had not been maintained and which the parish council had been discussing at its last two meetings without resolution. Dave arrived at the churchyard at 7:45am. Keith was working a systematic grid, row by row, starting from the east boundary. He had cleared approximately eight graves' worth of long grass, dandelion, and dock. Dave stood at the churchyard gate for a while. Keith continued his grid. The Reverend arrived at 8:00am for early service preparation and found Dave standing at the gate watching a goat work the east section. Reverend: "Is that yours?" Dave: "Yes. Sorry. I don't know how he..." Reverend: "He's doing the east section." Dave: "Yes." Reverend: "The parish council has been meaning to do the east section for two months." Dave: "I know. He'll have it done by nine." Reverend: "Can he come back next month?" Dave looked at the Reverend. Dave looked at Keith. Keith had moved to the third row. Dave's log, later: "The Reverend has asked if Keith can come back. I told him I'd think about it. I'm adding a column. The column is labelled: Ecclesiastical." Steve's complaint number twenty-nine arrived that afternoon. Subject: ground elder again. Keith had apparently made a return visit to Steve's garden at some point between the churchyard and Dave collecting him. Dave's log: "I don't know when. He has a route. The route includes Steve. Steve is part of the route now." By 11am Keith was back in his own field, eating knotweed. The knotweed is at 6%. The east section of the churchyard is tidy. The Reverend has Dave's number. Dave added the column.

@BamaSaltyMarine It got us yelled at for jumping on the hose.

I’m so old, I can remember riding over the bell line at a gas station. That got me service!

🎶🎵 In the arms of an angel 🎶🎵 “Every year millions of recently married American women cluelessly roam through life unable to figure out how to change their legal name. Scared, alone, and confused on what to do next, these women need your help. Won’t you help them before it’s too late?

@Super70sSports Some days are like this

I used to wonder how old people could be so chill about dying but I’ve lived long enough now I think I’m starting to get it. Everything just gets progressively weirder and dumber until you’re finally like “Ok, Jesus, take me home before it gets even stupider.”

@MarkMeadows @SenMullin @ChickfilA Or hear me out. Go to a Catholic school and watch the teachers doing after school traffic control. I have never in my life experienced such precision.

.@SenMullin’s first act as head of DHS should be to deputize @ChickfilA employees as temporary TSA agents. They know how to move folks through a line. #MyPleasure

@exjon Word of the day: parkour (madly googling)

Finally had my last stitches removed and I'm finally out of the full-arm brace after 3 months (still wear a wrist brace until my radial nerve recovers). Alas, I fear my plans for a professional parkour career are at an end.

@DrunkRepub The indoctrination was happening so gradually over the years we gradually accepted it until it was almost too late to do anything about it. And then it just exploded in our faces and we are forced to fight it.

Sometimes I get all bent out of shape about politics but then I see my kid running and laughing and realize how little it really means in the grand scheme of things. But then I start thinking about what kind of country he will inherit and then I get all bent out of shape about politics again 😂

@BurtMacklin_FBI @IanCarrollShow I’d would be more inclined to believe they shared a kiss than anything he had to say

@IanCarrollShow What is wild is that there are rumors that you shared a passionate kiss with Tucker after filming his show. Can you confirm?

Netanyahu genuinely might be dead. This is the second likely AI video of him in just two days they’ve posted… Check the comments for analysis. 2026 is willlld

@LukeSampe In my defense all I did was plant pansies, a primrose, lettuce, pig squeak and carex. And rearranged the patio furniture.

This late season winter storm is the fault of all of those who put their snowblowers in the back of the garage and got cocky with the patio furniture.

@gman5180 By who?

Oh really?🙄😂 In who's opinion?

@BrandonStraka There is a God!

Wajahat Ali says: “My family and everyone I know in Pakistan no longer wants to come to America thanks to Trump. Pakistanis are staying home!”

@Kronykal I need your help with something.

@dsware123 I really like violets. Soon they will be everywhere in my yard.

I have these in my backyard. They just pop up and they're beautiful. Hello. I'm the Common Blue Violet. Sorry I popped up right in the middle of your "perfect" green carpet. You're tempted to spray me, but please wait. I'm a "host plant." That means a specific group of butterflies—the Fritillaries—can only lay their eggs on me. My leaves are the only things their caterpillars can eat. No violets = no Fritillary butterflies. Plus, I'm one of the few sources of early spring nectar. I'm a bridge for the bees until the tulips open. What to do: Embrace the "purple lawn" for a few weeks. If you must get rid of me, do it by hand later in the spring. But if you leave me, you'll have orange butterflies dancing over your yard all summer. I'm sorry I'm "disruptive." But the butterflies are coming because of me. Do any of you guys ever see these in your yard?