Abby Libby@abbythelibb_
I was homeschooled, I loved it, and I'm excited to homeschool my children. I was also abused, both physically and spiritually, within that context. Here are some things I think are true at the same time:
📚 The best of homeschooling is far better than the best of public schooling. You simply cannot beat one-on-one, personalized instruction from an adult who deeply knows and loves you. I got this from my mom. It's an extraordinary gift.
📚 The worst of public schooling is better than the worst of homeschooling. A more severe level of educational neglect is possible in homeschooling. A more severe level of social isolation and malformation is possible in homeschooling. The abuse of a parent is more harmful than the same abuse by a teacher, and the impact of parental abuse is magnified within homeschooling. If a child is being abused at school, they can go to their parents for help. If they're being abused at home, they can go to the school for help. At the very least, the hours at school are not spent in the abusive home environment. For an abused homeschooler, there are few accessible places to go for help, and there is no reprieve. Additionally, if sufficiently isolated, the abused homeschooler often has no idea that what is happening is not right. This was my experience with my dad's abuse. However, the positives of my homeschool experience vastly outweigh the negatives.
📚 There are far, far more opportunities for abuse at public (or even private) school than home. From bullying by fellow students to sexual abuse by any of the staff, even the best public schools are significantly less safe than an average home.
📚 A school has hours and hours to indoctrinate your child into whatever they want, teachers can easily convince your child they know better than you, the parent, and you have only a few hours a day to discover, much less fight it. And that's not to mention what your child is exposed to via other children. However, the level of brainwashing possible within homeschooling is higher than public school. Cults typically rely on homeschooling to maintain control of the children. All this is a function of access, control, and time.
📚 Socialization IS a valid concern. There is no reason why a homeschooler must be socially maldeveloped, but I have met plenty who are. It is necessary for homeschooling parents to be intentional about it. One aspect of this I never hear talked about is feminization of boys. I have seen worse feminization of boys who grew up in deeply conservative families than boys coming out of feminism-soaked public school. Why? Lack of male role models. Generally the mother homeschools. Often the father works long hours to make homeschooling possible. The boy may get lots of socialization, but in homeschool groups run largely by homeschool moms, and, by sheer accident, little influence from male authority figures and even less relationship and guidance.
📚 CONCLUSION 📚
It is a MASSIVE mistake to tell yourself, as a parent, that public schooling is so bad that no matter what you do in your homeschool, your child will be better off than a public schooler. No. False. It matters a great deal how you run your homeschool. You, as the parent will make or break your child's education and social development. If you choose to homeschool, you accept a massive responsibility that you ought to take very seriously. I'm of the opinion that it was always your responsibility, and it's not good to abdicate that responsibility to the government, but I see far too many homeschool parents, especially those in this post-COVID, post-LGBTQ, social-media influenced homeschooling boom being far too dismissive of all the valid concerns associated with homeschooling.
If you homeschool, it is in your power to massively bless and advantage your child and launch them far further than public school ever could. But it is also in your power to deeply harm your children and hamstring their futures, so please take care.
