Anthony McHats

23.2K posts

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Anthony McHats

Anthony McHats

@TheHatStore

wheelie popper

United States شامل ہوئے Temmuz 2013
446 فالونگ2.6K فالوورز
پن کیا گیا ٹویٹ
Anthony McHats
Anthony McHats@TheHatStore·
NURSE: the doctor has pronounced your father dead ME: oh my god we’ve been calling him dad all this time
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Anthony McHats ری ٹویٹ کیا
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF@sofarrsogud·
Sure, calling it chicken gravy is fine, but I just feel that ‘roostershire sauce’ would’ve been so much better.
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meghan
meghan@deloisivete·
When you have kids, WTF stands for Where are all The Forks
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Anthony McHats
Anthony McHats@TheHatStore·
me: [first day as therapist] name something that causes you anxiety patient: being weighed me: it says here your name is frank
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Anthony McHats
Anthony McHats@TheHatStore·
boss: you're late me: sorry I got stuck behind a TSA line on the freeway
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Anthony McHats
Anthony McHats@TheHatStore·
me: do you accept returns tattoo artist: no
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Anthony McHats ری ٹویٹ کیا
Bummer T. Vibes, Esq
Bummer T. Vibes, Esq@VibesBummer·
[guy naming weeds] this one looks like a lion, but dandier
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marf
marf@MarfSalvador·
me: how can i impress the ladies friend: put a potato in your pants [later] date: where are your pants? me: *pushing them across the table* open it
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Anthony McHats ری ٹویٹ کیا
marf
marf@MarfSalvador·
[being buried alive] murderer: *out of breath* how are you eating the dirt so quickly
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Anthony McHats
Anthony McHats@TheHatStore·
nurse: we need a stool sample me: how small a piece are we talking
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Anthony McHats
Anthony McHats@TheHatStore·
what do the dudes who have loud fart can mufflers on their cars want from us
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Anthony McHats ری ٹویٹ کیا
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF@sofarrsogud·
ME: It's a kid's movie about a dragon who disguises himself as a nanny PRODUCER: Keep talking ME: called Mrs Mouthfire HIM: Get out
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Henpecked Hal
Henpecked Hal@HenpeckedHal·
My wife and I eloped, but a month later we had a small party to celebrate with family and friends. Somewhere on the invitation we wrote, “bring an appetite,” which my wife’s Uncle Jerry misread as “bring an appetizer.” He showed up at the venue with a crockpot of enchiladas.
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Andy Ryan
Andy Ryan@ItsAndyRyan·
Two elderly British ladies greeting each other
Andy Ryan tweet media
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