AndyM

@MooseAllain Wife at friend's house. Her 10-yo son comes home from school. Mother / son conversation: Mother: "How was your day" Son: "Great. I found a dead cat" M: "How do you know it was dead?" S: "I pissed in his ear" M: "You did what???!!!" S: "I went 'pssst' in his ear" Cue hysterics.

@arseblog 100%. Who kicked who!?!

@HarryRe17614242 @BBCMarkSimpson I know, bloody dogs lighting their bbqs and burning bins. Ban 'em.

@BBCMarkSimpson I swim most mornings at Helen’s Bay There is now almost more charcoal than sand on the beach yet the sign says no fires! Also sometimes there are more dogs than humans.

So sad to see this destruction in Helen’s Bay this morning.

@SamJDean Deluded

Erik ten Hag provides a list of decisions he believes were wrong. He says: - Havertz should have been booked on the overturned penalty - Hojlund should have had a penalty - Garnacho goal was onside. "Wrong angle." - Foul on Evans for the Rice goal

@samAFC88 @AFCFixtureNews I also have no email. Did you get an email to confirm that you were in the ballot when you did the application?

@AFCFixtureNews I haven’t even received an email yet

I’ve seen a number of unsuccessful emails from the Nottingham Forest ballot. Any successful ones please?

@andrewismaxwell @columeastwood I heard he had Tayto in Belfast and ours are now his favourite.

Biden: I’ve had the best time of my life Ireland: Ahh it’s nothing Joe,knock in any time..safe home now,here’s a packet of Tayto for your pocket *Hugs all round *The most powerful man on earth,adjusts his Mayo 4 Sam hat and away British Media:

@arseblog re ‘The Thirty’ I was just thinking there are 30 points up for grabs each premier league weekend, so if the time runs over there’s always that!

@Translink_NI Could you not have held the 2242 train to Bangor for a few minutes to accommodate those of us coming into Lanyon Place on the train from L'Derry hoping to connect? Absolutely rubbish customer service.

@RossAuthor Thank you for coming to Sullivan Prep today I really enjoyed The Colour of Hope.Thank you for coming. Love Emma.

Queue for T1 departures at 10.40am at Dublin Airport this morning. Have you missed a flight today due to long delays? Get in touch @rtenews

Good morning please could people retweet for me My arsenal debut shirt seen below that I wore in 1997 against Southampton with the No 26 on the back and signed by the whole squad And Arsene wenger was stolen from my house ripped out of its frame it means a lot to me please rt

I lost a gold ring with a black square stone at @DublinAirport in terminal1 flying to Marseille this morning. It was my deceased dad’s, so it has strong sentimental value. If you can retweet this I would really appreciate it, on the off chance someone has found it and sees this.

@jamesbenge And they are clearly not, no fights, no pizza etc. 🍕

Surely there are more interesting conversations around City vs. Liverpool than whether they’re as good a rivalry as Arsenal Man Utd?

@JaneyGodley This is me too!

The man who didn’t want a dog is currently singing “the most beautiful girl in the world” to this wee sausage lady as he cradles her in his arms

P&O Ferries furloughed 1400 of its staff during the pandemic, costing the taxpayer £10m. They also asked us for a £150m bailout. Its parent company then paid out £250m to shareholders. Now pandemic's over, they're sacking the British staff we supported. rmt.org.uk/news/rmt-calls…

Looking a spare ticket for Ireland v Scotland this weekend. @IrishRugby @SixNationsRugby #iresco 🏉 ☘️ #sixnations

Hilarious moment in the House of Lords just now. A Lord was banned from speaking because he had been asleep through most of the debate. Never seen anything like it!

⁦@TomFletcher⁩ Book in a box for World Book Day. By Emma age 7.

@Athletic_en Can anybody help me with two tickets for this game? Travelling from Ireland for my 50th birthday! 🙏

A Dutch reporter in the middle of a live broadcast was dragged away by Chinese security officials during the Winter Olympic Games opening ceremony in Beijing yesterday evening | More: bit.ly/3uAGYpI

@gunnerblog LANS

Good to see we’re working on solutions to the striker problem