de la chanson

@RealDianeYap @ellelledeell Not absolutely sure what you mean by “autonomy” in this context (I’m guessing that each partner should not be fully dependent on the other one). And I agree that total equality is not the point. It is important, however, that both contribute meaningfully.

@le_polisson @ellelledeell It isn't equality that's important. It's autonomy. Sometimes it will be unequal.

Seems obvious that leaving all of the housework to your wife makes her feel like she's your mom. Of course she gets the ick when you want sex. One hears a lot of "choreplay doesn't work" but that's because you're making it transactional. You want sex in exchange for the tasks she thinks you should be doing anyway. Of course that isn't going to turn her on. What will? Notice what needs to be done around the house and do it without her asking you. Do it cheerfully, without expectation or desire for praise. Don't expect to be paid in sex. Be the man she fell in love with instead of the little boy she has to clean up after.

@ellelledeell @RealDianeYap We are totally on the same page here.

Which is why I say the best way to measure is to look at free time The type & quality of the work also matters (obv a super high stress job != cooking dinner while the baby naps) but both ppl need real time to themselves, in addition to couples time So many couples I’ve seen veer one way or the other, men who come home & chill while the wife never stops doing stuff or wives who make the man do way too much Or men who work way too many hours & it costs them their marriage

@RealDianeYap @ellelledeell You rejected that it “cannot be expected” that he / she would do an equal amount of chores if he / she also has a FT job and the other one not. Thus, you expect (at least) 50% of contribution inside the house regardless of work situation. That’s just simple logic.

Right. I never said equal. I'm rejecting what you said about "equal amount" and re-asserting what I've stated from the beginning: he has to be pro-active and do what needs to be done without being told or that will decrease her desire for him. I didn't say what amount that would be. It could be equal, it could be more, it could be less. It's whatever still needs to be done that she hasn't gotten around to.

@RealDianeYap @ellelledeell

@le_polisson @ellelledeell Where on earth did i say "the same"? All I said was "notice what needs to be done and do it"

@ellelledeell @RealDianeYap Point is both partners should contribute equally. If there are young children involved, looking after them is a very meaningful contribution. OP seems to say irrespective of the work / child situation, the male partner needs to work the same amount in the house on top of a FT job

@le_polisson @RealDianeYap This is another reason why so many women resist quitting work to stay home with the child A nanny is a full time job A mom who is expected to be a 24/7 nanny + a full time housekeeper/cook is not making a good deal, she would be better off working & hiring a cleaner

@RealDianeYap Yeah, I’d also be in favor of a reality check. Picking up dirty underpants is not a chore but easily avoided by basic standards of neatness. You cannot seriously expect one partner to work all day long and then do the same amount of laundry, dishes, etc as the SAH one.

@le_polisson Shrug. No sense in arguing with reality. If she has to pick your dirty underpants up off the floor, it'll kill her sex drive regardless of how much you work outside the house.

@RealDianeYap That’s completely delusional. If one partner (he or she) stays at home all day while the other one works a full time job, then doing most (if not all) of the chores would not make this partner feel like “mommy” / “daddy”, but rather like an adult and not a spoiled and lazy brat.

@le_polisson Nope. If he doesn't want her to feel like mommy (and therefore zero sexual interest in him), he still has to be proactive about doing chores.

@wil_da_beast630 Knowing to work a plunger can also pay dividends

Under-rated point. In most trad relationship models, your wife does and "should" do most of the cooking, social calendar, and other important domestic stuff. But, it often makes sense - and will be rewarded - to take over the heaviest and some of the grossest jobs as a big guy. A non-zero percentage of men seem oddly focused on ~making former executives do very specific things, like clean toilets, as "their new job." Alternate that type of thing...or pay a maid.

@radmothy @CeraGibson It’s actually an alpha male thing. @PerryALPHA

@CeraGibson Every Christian man's worst nightmare is gay thoughts

Where exactly is this in the Bible?

@venkat_systems @johnloeber “It’s even worse”? Wtf are you even talking about? Are you saying every German with “oe” in their name needs to change it? Johann Wolfgang von Goethe was disrespecting the German language, then?

@johnloeber Yeah right, it's even worse then.. Atleast Böing immigrated n changed his name to Boeing If what u say is true, n German birth certificate didn't say Löber, to quote Jordan Peterson, clean your room first n then start preaching 😂

Germany Is Going Away I've been going back to Germany often over the last three years. One thing stands out every time: nobody speaks fluent German anymore. I kept count on a trip earlier this year. I interacted with ~20 people -- baristas, taxi drivers, store clerks, etc. and I'd involve them in conversation long enough to get a feel for their fluency. ~15 of them just wouldn't pass what I'd consider a reasonable language test. Broken grammar, poor diction. All my interactions were friendly and polite, but these people just don't speak the language. In the most egregious cases, they default to English instead. I found it just baffling to talk to people in positions of relative importance -- airport staff, for example -- and hear them fuck up Der/Die/Das. Let me explain. I lived in Germany from 1997 through 2002, Kindergarten through 3rd grade. Nearly all my childhood memories involve only natively fluent speakers. Some of them had immigration backgrounds, but the level of integration, i.e. language fluency was very high. It would've been unthinkable to run into people several times a day who just struggle to communicate. This is the type of thing that's probably hard to notice if you live there: the proverbial frog in boiling water. But I notice it very clearly because I go back so rarely, sometimes years apart. Every time it hits like a ton of bricks: "that's not how I remember it!" And the changes over the ~2 decades that I've been gone are very, very clear. A generation of workers has aged out, i.e. been replaced by a new generation, and so the demographics have shifted. Nowhere is it clearer than in the ability of people in public life to communicate in the German language. What I cannot stress enough is how weird this feels. For the vast majority of my readers: you have never experienced anything like this. You probably never will. It is an exceedingly strange and alienating feeling to return to a familiar place -- home at one point in your life -- and to find that people there can't speak the language anymore. They literally can't. The culture you grew up with is no more, and you may look around for someone else who understands, but you are all alone.

@FrankCastleMilk @imkikosuarez He isn’t, though. He gets to the ball by going between the legs (only minimal contact at that point) and clears the ball.

@le_polisson @imkikosuarez The one that makes it clear that you can't take the man first.

Idk why it looked so clean so long ago This is a blatant red card😭 Tackle from behind + last man + trips mbappe + only gets the ball going THROUGH Mbappe rather than AROUND him

@venkat_systems @johnloeber Eh, you sound like you’ve been listening to a lot of Jordan Peterson.

@Freebir92458311 @MickeyB_jnr You didn’t mention Rüdiger’s foul before Mbappé’s goal

@MickeyB_jnr In the first half, there was a clear penalty on Mendy that wasn't called, and a shot on goal by Mbappé that deflected off a defender, but the referee awarded a goal kick. You Bayern fans are such crybabies—you have to go out of your way to prove that your victories are deserved.

This Bluetooth tackle got called as a free kick and led to Güler’s goal… but guess who was complaining about the referee after the match. 😂

@catiewilber @MT6179395822 @BibiNutintrumpo @Franklin_Graham @realDonaldTrump Keep telling yourself that

@le_polisson @MT6179395822 @BibiNutintrumpo @Franklin_Graham @realDonaldTrump Those who watched live know that it was rushed by Roberts and Melania barely had a chance to get there in time, all on camera

I had received some questions about President @realDonaldTrump's recent posts, and here are my thoughts: I do not believe President Trump would knowingly depict himself as Jesus Christ—that would certainly be inappropriate. I’m thankful the President has made it very clear that this was not at all what he thought the AI-generated image was representing—he thought it was a doctor helping someone, and when he learned of the concerns, he immediately removed the post. When I looked at the illustration, I didn’t jump to the same conclusion as some. There were no spiritual references—no halo, there were no crosses, no angels. It was a flag, soldiers, a nurse, fighter planes, eagles, the Statue of Liberty, and I think this is a lot to do about nothing. There is so much ill-intended speculation. I think his enemies are always foaming at the mouth at any possible opportunity to make him look bad. And the illustration from someone else he reposted on Truth Social yesterday, I must say that I like the fact that this is a picture of Jesus whispering in his ear, or at least His hand on his shoulder, guiding him. We all need that—we all need to be listening to Jesus. Again, I think there is an attempt to spin this into something that it isn’t. Remember, President Trump didn’t draw this, he didn’t create it, he reposted it on his social media because he thought it was nice—I would have to agree. I’m not a Catholic, I’m an evangelical, but I appreciate how President Trump has defended religious freedom for people of all faiths, including millions of evangelicals and Catholics in the U.S. and around the world. He is the most pro-Christian, pro-life president in my lifetime, and he doesn’t shy away from it. I would hope that the President and Pope Leo can meet at some point, and that the Pope would have the opportunity to thank the President for his efforts to protect religious liberty for Catholics and people of all faiths.

@catiewilber @MT6179395822 @BibiNutintrumpo @Franklin_Graham @realDonaldTrump Do you really have to ask that?

@MT6179395822 @BibiNutintrumpo @Franklin_Graham @realDonaldTrump What’s the motive for “Grok, now add a demon”

@Mr_blessedness @TouchlineX They’re crying about the second yellow for Camavinga. Meanwhile, Güler scored from a free kick that was awarded for dive and prior to Mbappé’s goal Rüdiger fouled Stanišić… 🤷‍♂️

@TouchlineX Can someone explain how it is unjust. I was watching Arsenal game

🚨🗣️ Alvaro Arbeloa: "I congratulate Bayern Munich, but they've beaten us in an unjust way.. that's why I'm angry."

@Elisahscx @bayali_ Weinen habe ich nur die Madrid-Fans gesehen. Also doch keine Rassisten?

Name one thing that will 100% happen in this match

@utdWiley You want the goal keeper to simply disappear? He’s not going after the attacker. The attacker falls into him.

Explain to me like I'm six years old how this isn't a red card.