Tori Bird

@14FlochForster @mareeener @creepykatrina Do remember it is your marriage, and I do not believe anything goodly would expect you to act in that way or make someone you love feel that way.

@toriiibibi @mareeener @creepykatrina I agree with you in practice, but I’m not going to pretend the law isn’t what it is. The institution was made and well defined as such.

apparently it’s cruel to makeout with your significant other and not want it to lead to sex what is wrong with you people

@14FlochForster @mareeener @creepykatrina I just do not think it is good to suggest that the idea of marital duty should ever overrule consent, or to make a person feel like they are failing if they do not consent.

@toriiibibi @mareeener @creepykatrina I understand, and act according to what you say, I’m just saying that marriage is obligation and duty, not just what either party wants.

@rnovak1988 @eightswan @jogothy @johndrewmarkley You are very unlikely to experience any medical issues if you let a boner go, though. It does go away on its own, usually under an hour. Usually the worst to happen is an ache, if that.

It's quite literally different for men. Epididymal hypertension. When men are aroused, the blood that fills the penile tissue isn't being circulated and oxygenated by the heart, which causes it to become stale. This is why Viagra commercials have that line "seek medical assistance for erections lasting more than four hours" Stale, oxygen-less blood can cause damage not only to the penile tissue itself, but ultimately cause a blood clot or stroke if it lasts long enough. So... not exactly something men can just flip a switch and turn off. I'm NOT saying that means a man is entitled to anything.

If 'making out" is "non-sexual touch" then I'm sure the women agreeing with this would have no problem with their boyfriends/husbands doing that with other women.

@rnovak1988 @eightswan @jogothy @johndrewmarkley Vasocongestion also occurs in women. I do have vaginismus and generally have a harder time with painless intimacy, and arousal itself does give me a throbbing ache if I ignore it. That is why I need to re-focus my thoughts, the same way I would to make period cramps more mangable

@14FlochForster @mareeener @creepykatrina No ): You shouldn't force your spouse if they are not up for it, and please be honest if you aren't. Intimacy is a fragile thing and stuff like this can cause issues down the line, building up the sort of idea that sex is a duty instead of something two people happily share.

@mareeener @creepykatrina Not really, if your woman wants sex it’s your role to give it to her even if you’re not up for it, or rather she can say she needs it if you don’t want to and it’s your obligation to provide it as the husband. It’s the same for wives.

@rnovak1988 @eightswan @jogothy @johndrewmarkley I have fallen asleep aroused cause I can just snuggle in and feel cozy. It isn't a hassle, since I can re-focus my thoughts. It is something I intentionally learned to do. As we grow up, we do learn how to handle these things. Definitely is not worth sacrificing a makeout.

No.... I said going to sleep aroused is uncomfortable and doesn't result in restful sleep. I'm really not sure why that's such a difficult concept to grasp. You never lied awake at night as a kid on Christmas Eve because of the adrenaline coursing through your veins due to the anticipation?

@Marelestor @ilovewokeness Both things can be unethical.

@ilovewokeness But i find it interesting that you feel entitlement to how any private citizen should delegate uselessly small portions to random masses when they have no obligation to, instead of our government which DOES have obligation to us, but would rather just send 20 times that amount-

having a trillion dollars is not ethical, actually

what is nero’s problem. he is unintentionally the funniest character

@shanelucchesi @_Acecap_ppu @damnidc__ Lol, you gotta be playing.

@_Acecap_ppu @damnidc__ You bet your ass I’m American USA is the greatest country on this damn planet

men be like i'm smarter because i'm talking fast in a monotone voice with a condescending attitude and if you show any emotion you're hysterical and i win by default

@rnovak1988 @eightswan @jogothy @johndrewmarkley You think making out with your wife is like her spilling cinnamon all over your carpet? You got the intimacy, the oxytocin, the dopamine, and the butterflies that come from making out with the person you love. Not bonding from it without sex just kinda reduces her...

Oh, yay!! Another self-absorbed narcissistic sociopath using psychobabble... It doesn't matter how much fancy language you dress it up in, YOU are responsible for how YOUR actions IMPACT others. How would you like it if your husband dumped out an entire container of cinnamon on your living room carpet 5 minutes before bed, got the vacuum out, and then just went straight to bed? Sure, he's not owed sex... but that doesn't make you less of an insufferable cunt 👍

@WeAllNeedJesus1 @suckkin2456 @wil_da_beast630 Not at all. You should never be 'used' in the bedroom like that and always a happy participant. The idea of doing anything otherwise is disturbing for good reason.

@toriiibibi @suckkin2456 @wil_da_beast630 Y’all are all freaking crazy. Good LAWD.

Whatever side you take here, one of the most bizarre feminist arguments is: "Asking your heterosexual, sexually experienced wife for vaginal sex? How would YOU feel if she asked you for first-time-ever, gay-coded BUTT RAMMING?!" If we do any actual analogy - my Person has mostly clitoral orgasms, and so asked for 10 minutes of head 2-3x running when I am tired - the obvious outcome is that I just say yes. It seems worth noting that every WOMAN I have ever dated would say no to intense anal sex in this exact case :).

@WeAllNeedJesus1 @suckkin2456 @wil_da_beast630 You just shouldn't expect your husband to get busy with you when he isn't in the mood or doesn't have the energy, especially if you are expecting to penetrate him. It is a very different level of vulnerability. Do you agree with this?

@suckkin2456 @wil_da_beast630 Y’all are so afraid of being taken advantage of that you aren’t allowing yourselves to truly love another human being, or to be loved in return. Marriage is sacrifice. There’s no 50/50. It’s more like you take turns giving 100% when the other one is down.

@wodwo819 @schlopsoil @lullabystarlust It does often feel good for guys. The equivalence is just understanding how it feels to be penetrated when you aren't feeling up to it. It's hard on your pelvic floor and can be painful for any lady that isn't prepped for it and eager.

@schlopsoil @lullabystarlust And eating beyond what you need feels pleasant as well. That still doesn't make it at all analoguous to an unnatural act like anal sex though 😅

something tells me if your wife asked you to just lie back and spread your legs for 10mins just 2-3x a week so she can peg you to make her happy, she’d be divorced soon after

This is Haurchefant and Estinien to me

@danvolodar @0xSoDank @emilykmay Not worries. I can take care of myself if I am worried about hurting. It's not worth making my fiance unsafe.

@toriiibibi @0xSoDank @emilykmay Do you know the feeling of calm that comes over you when someone who's been edging you to the point of hurtful blue balls keeps pressing into you? Yeah, me neither.

there's a sex therapist who has a ritual of making out with her husband every night before bed, and so many of the comments on her posts are some version of "but what if he gets turned on and I don't want to have sex" and i need men to understand and prioritize non sexual touch.

@danvolodar @0xSoDank @emilykmay Do you know the feeling of laying your head on someone's chest and just listening to their heart beat? That is enough to distract me from most aches. It is one of the most relaxing feelings. It also makes it easy to tell when he is upset or tense.

@toriiibibi @0xSoDank @emilykmay Good on you! I love your tales, they're so believable. And they work for everyone, just like the OP's advice.

@danvolodar @0xSoDank @emilykmay Neither of us have had an issue. It really should not hurt to a very noticeable extent. We can just cuddle and sleep.

@toriiibibi @0xSoDank @emilykmay Nah, you just follow your own advice and suggest he "just deal with it lulz". That's sure to improve your relationship and, what was it, increase your sexual intimacy. After all, that's perfectly normal and not at all batshit insane.

@danvolodar @0xSoDank @emilykmay Yes. We shouldn't coerce our partners into going further than they are ready to.

@toriiibibi @0xSoDank @emilykmay Not as much as partner abuse, one would imagine.

@danvolodar @0xSoDank @emilykmay No worries. Anytime his balls hurt, I will tell him to seek console from @danvolodar on twitter.

@toriiibibi @0xSoDank @emilykmay I can't imagine entering a relationship like this to begin with - we've been over it already. And your partner has my condolences for living with an abuser.

@danvolodar @0xSoDank @emilykmay That is just a tense mindset to have and creates issues for yourself.

@toriiibibi @0xSoDank @emilykmay You? Of course not. Your trust? Sure.