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Shitpostradamus
46.8K posts
Shitpostradamus
@vonbees
poet? parent? sixty Russian bots in a trench coat? pre-distressed, pre-owned and pre-disposed to punning. skimped on gender to include more elbows.
down under شامل ہوئے Mart 2009
267 فالونگ439 فالوورز
@branewurms that's the annoying blonde lady from the murderbot show yeah?
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idek where the fuck this labubu shit came from, from my pov whatever that thing is showed up like five minutes ago and suddenly everyone is obsessed, I feel like conspiracy theorizing level bewildered by this
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@C_Frohmader @AlboMP but we love frameworks so much... must have more frameworks...
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I wonder if Jillian Segal and @AlboMP are aware that we already have a National Anti-Racism Framework, which was only launched in November 2024. 🤷♀️
humanrights.gov.au/anti-racism-fr…
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if you'd asked me six months ago whether it was more likely for our next prime minister to be a member of the Liberal Party or a Canada Goose, I'd have asked you whether it was a talking goose or more of a 'geese stacked up in a trenchcoat' situation
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Shitpostradamus ری ٹویٹ کیا
Shitpostradamus ری ٹویٹ کیا
Let’s talk about preferential voting - how it works and some misinformation you may have heard about it ✌️
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Shitpostradamus ری ٹویٹ کیا
extremely funny that a rule saying "hey your car cannot just explode" is an automatic disqualifier for tesla
rugbylawyer@Tesler914
BREAKING: China has just eliminated Tesla from its market. Effective July 1, 2026, China requires EV batteries to be "no fire, no explosion." GAME OVER! $TSLA
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@vonbees That is in fact the exact song I keep trying to rip off (so far unsuccessfully)
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It appears I am only writing sea shanties* right now. And because I've never been on a sailing ship (or worked fields, etc.) it appears these shanties are going to be about biking. Maybe next I'll write a drinking song involving mocktails. The muse, she has questionable taste.
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* technically not even shanties, much less sea shanties. Apparently those are simple tunes for setting the pace of synchronized group labor, not stories with refrains in 3-part harmony. But there's a reason the word "shanty" caught on and not "maritime ballad"
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Shitpostradamus ری ٹویٹ کیا
Someone wants to come back now.
Ilya Kaminsky@ilya_poet
Ok, friends, I need advice: what is the easiest, most painless, sweetest way to get this lovely creature out of one’s house?
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Shitpostradamus ری ٹویٹ کیا
okay sure but have you ever tried waking up 8 minutes before you have to leave and sprinting madly around your apartment like a feral raccoon trying to thrash its way out of a plastic garbage bag
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Shitpostradamus ری ٹویٹ کیا
Hamas offered to return all hostages for a permanent truce. Now Israel is carpet bombing instead of allowing the second stage of the ceasefire to continue as promised. The death toll in less than 24 hours is 419 and counting. The goal was always mass extermination.
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Shitpostradamus ری ٹویٹ کیا
this international women's day, get her what she REALLY wants (a large moat around her primary place of residence)
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Checked out this man’s profile and he has replied a variation of “nice milky tits” to photos of women at least 30 times in the last 2 days so I’d guess like 20k times if I keep scrolling (no replies back)
MIKE HUNT 👊@Hunt237Mike
@Brocklesnitch You’d be puffed out just standing up Karen you fat c@nt!! You wouldn’t have done anything because by the time you walked 10 metres it would’ve been all over, if you did make it you would’ve had your teeth knocked out, you fat woke rug munching Karens are all f@cking spastics!! 🤦♂️
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Shitpostradamus ری ٹویٹ کیا
I know Kamala struggled to engage with new media, but with the greatest of respect does Albo need to be doing Brad Haddin’s cricket podcast?
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@alekshjohnson @sensitivfreight Remind me, was the Truman show a sitcom?
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@sensitivfreight Al sometimes I read about situations you are in and I become convinced some kind of sit-com-esque bubble envelopes you and turns ordinarily straightforward interactions into the kind of thing where someone just says “no” and points to the door.
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