Rip

Jurassic Park but the just-believable-enough technology is some sort of stem-cell therapy that essentially resets the patient’s age to early adulthood. Hypothesized by young scientist who’s an obsessive Jordan fan and wants him—alone—to fund R&D, share the patent, and be the first patient. It’ll cost billions but MJ’s got it and would rather die broke than miss another chance to pick up a basketball. It works and the plot’s pretty much Rocky 3 from there. Maybe a Rookie of the Year twist near the end when he starts rapidly aging with a three-game lead during the Finals and has to outwit his opponents and/or humble himself to rely on the young teammates he initially loathed but has grown to love more than his own thankless children. Trailer heavily features Mary J. Blige’s “Overjoyed” from the Jordan XV commercial. Box-office receipts and streaming numbers inconceivable.

MLB OPENING DAY TODAY

Millions will sleep better

@Howlingmutant0 @NickSwardson Le epic “eagles suck” maymay

@NickSwardson Probably Carlin and the Eagles and I’d ram the boat into a reef

Ok, talking to comedians and musicians about a cruise. SIDE NOTE: if you could pick any 5 comics and 2 bands THROUGH OUT HISTORY to do a cruise with, who would they be? 😂 remember you’re on a boat with them for a week. Who you got? The Doors? Carlin? Tupac? Carrot Top? 😂

Shohei Ohtani’s grand slam ball went to Hikaro Kudo, who is here with his mother. On what it means to have the ball: “It’s the best time of my life.”

@2170cell @Rainmaker1973 Big corn guy

@Rainmaker1973 @Sleepiary

Boiled and grilled corn are the safest options for cats. Not only are they low in fat, but they keep most of the nutrients of natural corn. While it's not recommended as regular food, it's a safe option as occasional treat.

@Prak_Agrajag We’re losing recipes

Don't hear much about jelqing these days

Grok just found this greentext I've been trying to find for years.

@2170cell x.com/2170cell/statu…

When the aliens come they will be so great in so many different ways that everything we ever thought was cool will then make us ashamed

@nomchompskii Wow

bros 1/2/3/4 is not possible for like 99% of people. 1 plate deadlift is literally nothing, i would say probably 60% of people can do this (1 plate = 45x2 so about 100 pounds with a bar. that means anyone in a active job like delivery can do this 2 plate squat is a little more impressive (45x4, plus bar is nearly 200 pounds). squats arent trained as much, but if you include squat machines or hack squats this isnt that difficult. probably 40% of people could do this, especially people who themselves are over 200 pounds (70% of americans) 3 plate bench is where we start getting ridiculous (45x6 = nearly 280 pounds with a bar). im 170 pounds and in good shape and barely can do 2 plates. you would have to be roiding to do this, bare minimum. probably 5% of society can do this. 4 plate overhead i refuse to believe is possible. thats nearly 350 pounds. you are within world record range at 400 pounds for most weight classes. thats less than 1% of society that even has a chance at that. i dont care if this outs me as a newfag, but 1/2/3/4 is a fucking stupid meme and sets the most unrealistic expectations for people. its not possible.

Every lifter who can bench 315: “Yah nice lift Hegseth” Every lifter who can’t: 315 is a completely mediocre bench press. I can’t technically do it myself, but if I were his weight, with my current WILKs score, I would likely be able to do it easily”

Reply to this post with pics

@UncWorldwide There it is.

Indian people be like, your daughter, she come to my yard, and she kick my dog.

sage

I think the most important thing to appreciate may be that, for whatever reasons, 4chan is early and radical, and not that Twitter is simply gay and lame and full of normie NPCs (another great example) who are often obviously late to the party.

This actually happened recently except it was here and in reverse when twitter users discovered and got epically “””one-shotted”””” by years-old soyjaks imported by the 4chan diaspora.