Chris Fortin

Music sucks

@aphaenke @aseriousmang The cadence of that chant is haunting

Looks like some people around NYC have finally checked out fresh sauce @CurseFortune @aseriousmang #BossBaby

@ibjezz Ok instead of House of Leaves read Piranesi

Just finished a great sci-fi book and I want mooooore! Fiction & non fiction… any topics. Send me your book recs!

@ibjezz @BigVelcro Absolutely not haha. Part of the storytelling is literally changing the placement of the words on the page, or a word’s color, or if it’s struck through

@CurseFortune @BigVelcro Ok so if I’m doing mainly audiobooks… this won’t work for me, right?

@JessLoriaKay Oh good then you’ll love my book where I go back in time and masturbate during every major American catastrophe

@CurseFortune @ibjezz @BigVelcro @aseriousmang I own it! It’s just sitting there not being read because I keep reading about the dust bowl and shit

@ibjezz @BigVelcro @JessLoriaKay if anyone wants to borrow it @aseriousmang has my copy, you can call dibs on next

@ibjezz @BigVelcro It’s horror but more in tone, the STORY is that a family moves into a house that’s bigger on the inside than on the outside and exploring what that means. The PLOT is that the whole thing is told through an unreliable narrator’s footnotes and the placement of words on the page

@JessLoriaKay @ibjezz You can name a lot of the presidents, so legally you can’t be dumb

@CurseFortune @ibjezz I’ve tried to read this and given up like 10 times am I just dumb??? BE GENTLE WITH YOUR ANSWER.

@JessLoriaKay Sew them together

I would absolutely not trade being a twin mom for anything but one thing I hate is the guilt of feeling like I’m always splitting my time. No baby wearing when I’m doing chores. No snuggles without knowing the other is waiting. It never feels fair to them.

@JessLoriaKay Every time I chew or smile I say that I’m teething

A thing I maybe wasn’t prepared for is that babies are actually always teething

@devinjanks Please she won’t leave I don’t know what to do

@CurseFortune Now we know who is really living rent free in your head

This lives rent-free in my head

@devinjanks (Devin I’m so sorry Lauren made me say that she’s taken over)

@CurseFortune *uncertain look*

@devinjanks This is a failure of a reply

@CurseFortune *knowing nod*

@1800AnnieQuail Looks like we're never getting out of quarantine then

I can’t wait to get out of quarantine and show people i’ve gotten less annoying

@sirjacksonIV Jesus was in the Disney Vault for 3 days before revealing himself to be resurrected

Disney purchased rights to the Bible and is finally making a sequel.

@1800AnnieQuail They make you chug a bottle of Corona first, too

i can’t wait to go to a shitty bar and buy a shot (probably jello from one of those syringes) called the “covid vaccine” for $15 and throw up for 9 hours the next day.

@AlNormQuail @gordonfart @U2 @GreenDay @BonJovi Just keep unraveling that thread...

@gordonfart @U2 @GreenDay @BonJovi Couldn’t agree more brother

I was once described as an "Affluent Millennial" in an article, so yeah, you know what my business card says