Tortelvis Himself

@USLaborIG @POTUS @VP @WHFraudTF @DOJFraudDiv @AFergusonFTC @RapidResponse47 @ScottBradyPA @Sonderling47 Pictured: Trump receiving a bribe from a foreign dictator

Fraud isn’t a victimless crime. It funds violent criminals, traffickers, and organized crime. @POTUS & @VP’s @WHFraudTF is in the fight. Pass it on.

@krassenstein Are they handling that stuff properly? 12% is dangerous.

BREAKING: They are now pouring bottles of hydrogen peroxide into the ultra-green algae-filled Reflecting Pool that Trump wasted $10m of our money on.

@FitzyGFY There’s already a New Scotland - Nova Scotia.

Listen, if this is what it takes to get Scottish fans to stick around for a while after the World Cup...

@gtconway3d @TizzyEnt

MAGA Knicks fan update: Moments after the final buzzer, the guy who had earlier yelled at me "other than the shirt, you suck!" came back to call me a "fucking Muslim supporter" and "Mamdani piece of shit," and to knock my phone out of my hand. Like, WTAF? Guy needs some serious help ….

@nylawho1 Do his arms not extend all the way?

I’m actually crying this is so fkn funny

@jerrythornton @FitzyGFY This is the best work @FitzyGFY has done since he showed me how to use Great Stuff.

The pizza place I’ve been going to since I was a kid joining forces with my quarterback. With voiceover from my pal @FitzyGFY. It’s a great day to be a Masshole.

@stoolpresidente Pop-up

The great ones never lose it

@SethAbramson They list Stormy Daniels as a ‘relationship’ in 2006 and again under her real name in 2011 - three ‘relationships’ in total while he was married to Melania 🤣

That's right, friends, MAGAs are in such denial about how pathetic they are that they're spreading around this meme claiming that JD Vance dated model Kate Upton when he was 19 and she was 11 (Pretty interesting that in their fantasies JD Vance is a pedophile just like his boss)

@SethAbramson White House: “No Fatties!” Person: “But Trump will be there…” White House: “That’s why it’s plural.”

UPDATE: The Pentagon also warmly invites to the Octagon men who wear makeup daily, men with repeated bankruptcies (no limit), pedophile enablers, men who run fake charities and/or universities, draft-dodgers, and any who consider US soldiers "losers and suckers." But NO FATTIES.

(📢) BREAKING NEWS: Pentagon Announces "No Fatties" Rule for White House UFC Fight Audience But Declines Rule Banning Convicted Felons, Adjudicated Rapists, Accused Serial Domestic Abusers, Alcoholics, Insurrectionists or Men Who Steal Classified Documents cnn.com/2026/05/29/pol…

@jamieuyeyama What tier is Bryce Young?

Notre Dame has a loaded roster in 2026 so instead of a top-25, I ranked them by tier instead to have more representation irishsportsdaily.com/s/27656/notre-…

@TB_Facts The NFL scoring average (per team, per game) is .8 points higher during Mahomes’s 8 years than Brady’s 21 years.

@paulprosseda @AntiToxicPeople The Hedo Turkoglu of presidents

@atrupar MBIC, if you are in Havana or Panama, YOU are the foreign encroachment.

Trump: "From the shores of Havana to the banks of the Panama Canal, we will drive out the forces of lawlessness and crime and foreign encroachment"

@Acyn Not an ounce of awareness

Senator Kennedy on Cuba: They are just incompetent. All they know how to do is oppress people. They take all their money and they give it to the military and the police and themselves, and to hell with the good people.

@johnsixx256 He knows more Chinese than, probably, anyone ever.

ME MUERO Trump literalmente fue captado por las cámaras mirando el cuaderno privado de Xi Jinping cuando se alejó 😭🤣😂 Marco Rubio lo notó pero inmediatamente giró la cara hacia otro lado 🤣

@michaelFhurley …when all you need is a Mike

BST. 10 pm. Michael Felger. Michael Holley. Michael Hurley. 👀

@gtconway3d @AntiToxicPeople That is 25,000 years worth of the salary that he ‘donates’.

The corruption is beyond anything we have ever seen.

@DecodingFoxNews @AntiToxicPeople

This will definitely boost his approval ratings. While average Americans struggle to fill their gas tanks some crypto dudes made a golden statue of Trump.

@RobertJMolnar RIP Project Freedom, May 4, 2026 - May 5, 2026

lol..... that didn't last long

@atrupar What do you call someone who does this?

Trump is crazyposting at 3pm