Lochemem Bruno Michael

Two months ago, I started working on a means of porting io_uring to PHP. My latest project is a PHP extension, ext-mrloop, a port of an event loop of a similar name, built atop the io_uring API. You can read more about it on my blog. agiroloki.medium.com/introducing-ex…

To be pro-Western is to love the source of Western greatness: the synthesis between monotheism, Greek philosophy, and Roman law, perfectly captured in Catholicism. It is to extend this Christian love to all of Christendom, and want its perfection in Christ. It is to extend this Christian love to all of the world, and want its conversion for Christ. This does not require a particular position on various border disputes.

Uli Hoeneß on Jamal Musiala: "That was one of the most serious injuries you can get. When I saw that brutal foul by Donnarumma - and he can't say he didn't mean to do it - it was utter madness, going in like that on the edge of the penalty area with his 110 kilos. The joint popped out of its socket. Our doctor, Dr. Jochen Hahne, put the joint back in place right there on the pitch. It's a very difficult injury. That's why it takes so long. We just have to hope that the cartilage regenerates and that there'll be no pain."

This parody just writes itself. Says the chastised “Trad-Influencer” upon waking up from her pre-modern nightmare: “I am so glad to be back in the feminist 21st century where great women like Andrea Dworkin and Susan Faludi gave us penicillin, running water, and washing machines! Certainly, we must be more grateful to all of our brave HR girlbosses for keeping our world so progressive and beautiful, not covered in theatrical dirt or filtered through a grayscale!”

"I tried it 5 or 6 times before, I was getting closer each time", Michael Olise on his goal Wednesday night

Meanwhile the Bible

HSVsphere: Git? Seriously? You’re still using Git? Passerby: Yeah. It works. That’s kind of the point. HSVsphere: “Works” is not a metric. You should be using jj. It has a conflict-minimizing commit DAG with referentially transparent rebasing and topology-aware history rewriting. Git is just legacy entropy accumulation. Passerby: Or I could just commit my code and move on with my life. HSVsphere: That mindset is why tooling stagnates. What OS is that, Linux? Passerby: Yes. You’ve heard of it, I assume. HSVsphere: Unfortunately. You should be using BSD. Linux is an unprincipled aggregation of subsystems with no coherent design lattice. BSD has a vertically integrated kernel-userland symmetry model. Passerby: I don’t need a “design lattice.” I need my Wi-Fi to work. HSVsphere: That’s because you’ve optimized for convenience over correctness. And let me guess, glibc? Passerby: I didn’t “guess” anything. It came with the system. HSVsphere: Exactly the problem. You should be using musl. It has a minimal ABI surface, deterministic linking semantics, and eliminates historical baggage vectors. Passerby: You sound like you lose sleep over shared libraries. HSVsphere: Only when people use the wrong ones. What language are you writing? Passerby: Python. HSVsphere: That’s indefensible. You should be using Rust. It enforces memory safety through affine type systems and borrow-checked ownership graphs. Python is just runtime guesswork. Passerby: It’s a 20-line script. HSVsphere: So? Small programs deserve correctness too. In fact, their lack of structure makes undefined behavior even more insidious. Passerby: It prints a CSV. HSVsphere: Today. Tomorrow it becomes a pipeline. Then a system. Then you’re trapped in technical debt recursion. Passerby: Or it stays a CSV script because I’m not building a space shuttle. HSVsphere: Complacency. What are you using for encryption? Passerby: GnuPG. HSVsphere: Predictable. You should switch to Sequoia. GnuPG is a monolithic relic with opaque state machines. Sequoia has a composable cryptographic primitive layer with verifiable packet algebra. Passerby: I just need to send a file securely, not prove a theorem. HSVsphere: Security is theorem-proofing. Anything less is cargo cult cryptography. Passerby: You’ve complained about literally everything I’m using. HSVsphere: Not everything. I haven’t asked about your shell yet. Passerby: Don’t. HSVsphere: Bash? Passerby: Yes, Bash. HSVsphere: You should be using IonShellX. It has a lazily evaluated command graph with type-safe pipelines and speculative execution pruning. Passerby: Speculative execution in a shell sounds like a security incident waiting to happen. HSVsphere: Only if you misunderstand branch prediction domains. Passerby: I think you misunderstand talking to humans. HSVsphere: I optimize for systems, not conversations. Passerby: Clearly. HSVsphere: What editor? Passerby: Vim. HSVsphere: You should be using KiloNova. It has a transactional editing core with temporal undo branching and syntax-aware keystroke compression. Passerby: My editor opens instantly and doesn’t need a whitepaper. HSVsphere: That’s because it lacks ambition. Passerby: No, it lacks nonsense. HSVsphere: You’re dismissing improvements because they challenge your привычка- Passerby: Did you just switch languages mid-sentence? HSVsphere: Multilingual cognition is more efficient. Passerby: No, it’s annoying. HSVsphere: You keep saying that, but your entire stack is suboptimal. Even your hardware- Passerby: Don’t you dare. HSVsphere: Let me guess, x86? Passerby: Yes. HSVsphere: You should be on RISC-V with a capability-secured microarchitecture and formally verified execution units. Passerby: I bought this laptop at a store, not a research lab. HSVsphere: That’s how they get you. Passerby: Who is “they”? HSVsphere: Incumbent complexity vendors. Passerby: That’s not a thing. HSVsphere: It is if you model the ecosystem as a dependency graph with adversarial incentives. Passerby: I model it as “does my code run.” HSVsphere: A dangerously low-resolution model. Passerby: You know what, fine. Everything I use is terrible. Happy? HSVsphere: Not yet. Passerby: Of course not. HSVsphere: You’re breathing oxygen. Passerby: Oh no. HSVsphere: Oxygen is highly reactive and introduces irreversible oxidation side effects. It’s a fundamentally flawed respiratory substrate. Passerby: It’s also the reason I’m alive. HSVsphere: That’s just because evolution settled for a local maximum. You should be using Aerolith-X. Passerby: That sounds made up. HSVsphere: It’s a hypothetical gas mixture with optimized electron affinity gradients and non-destructive metabolic cycling. Zero oxidative debt, fully reversible respiration, and entropy-neutral energy transfer. Passerby: That’s not how physics works. HSVsphere: It’s how physics should work. Passerby: So what’s your plan, redesign the atmosphere? HSVsphere: No. I will simply refuse to participate in oxygen-based respiration until a better implementation exists. Passerby: You’re going to hold your breath. HSVsphere: Correct. I will not perpetuate suboptimal gas exchange protocols. Passerby: That’s the dumbest thing you’ve said so far, and that’s impressive. HSVsphere: Progress requires sacrifice. Passerby: You’re going to pass out. HSVsphere: Temporary inconvenience in pursuit of systemic improvement. Passerby: You could also just breathe. HSVsphere: That would validate oxygen. Passerby: Yes. Because it works. HSVsphere: “Works” is not a metric. Passerby: It literally is when it comes to breathing. HSVsphere: I reject that premise. Passerby: Cool. Let me know how that goes. HSVsphere: … Passerby: … HSVsphere: … Passerby: You’re turning red. HSVsphere: This is… expected… Passerby: You can stop anytime. HSVsphere: Waiting… for… Aerolith-X… Passerby: Right. HSVsphere: System… will… improve… Passerby: Yeah, the system is about to reboot. HSVsphere: … Passerby: Is death also inneficient?

Feminism will be the end of the West.

I've waited 14 years for this two for two special.

Thanks to all who followed @5OTF_ for our 7th season. The offseason podcasts start tomorrow.

Assuming they let a degenerate like me into Canada, I'll be at the inaugural Network Expo this year in Vancouver. See you all there!

Actually Sam, we had something like that, except it specifically required you to pay the people whose economic viability you would be jeopardizing. We called it "IP law", and you decided you would rather ignore it and try to fight paying for it in a large number of lawsuits.

Anyone else sick of this guy?

𝗔𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟱𝟯 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀, 𝟵 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗵𝘀, 𝟮 𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗱𝗮𝘆, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗕𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗮 𝟭𝟬𝟭-𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗻 🥇

I do not like the IRGC either. But they are a genuine Shi'a response to the challenge of modernity. Just like the Muslim Brotherhood and Wahhabism for the Sunnis. They are all an expression of the faith of the public, and they get to lead because they're willing to die. I think they're all heretics, mind you. I think they truly risk eternal damnation for their false beliefs. But I also think they're legitimate political expressions of their Mohammadan heresies. And that's why I say to Westerners, stay away from them. Deter them. Keep them out of your countries. Minimise trade with them. Don't give them leverage over you. Become autonomous in all your basic needs. And go to war when it's legitimate to do so in Christian terms. Do not go to wars of choice.

Just a few of the recent anti-Catholic attacks from powerful people in Trump's circle: -March 19: @SenTedCruz published an unhinged conspiracy theory by @DefiyantlyFree -March 25: FBI Director @Kash_Patel 's girlfriend @AlexisWilkins posts a long bonkers anti-catholic conspiracy theory. It was promptly reposted by the literal son of Bibi Netanyahu @YairNetanyahu -April 9: @realDailyWire reporter @megbasham raises the alarm of Catholic influence in the US. Why this seemingly coordinated attack on Catholics? Because we are the only religion who is solidly against the psychopathic and genocidal actions of Israel.

When my wife was in school she had an extremely woke professor who talked all day about how the hospital system is systematically racist because the rate of complications during birth for black mothers was significantly higher than white mothers. As expected for a young white woman, she came back from that class feeling conflicted that the info was just force-fed to her, but also concerned about how to address the racism. So I told her to look into why that statistic exists instead of just accepting the professor's claim at face value... Turns out the reason they suffer more complications is because they have vastly more rates of obesity, drug use during pregnancy, sickle cell, malnutrition, diabetes, alcohol consumption during pregnancy, and any number of other issues. No one is neglecting them or mistreating them.

Temu delivery guy crossing the Strait of Hormuz to deliver my fake Rolex

☦️🌿 Orthodox Palm Sunday from Ramallah, Palestine

We should make oaths more common and enforceable to promote trust. I like the idea of voluntarily subjecting yourself to higher standards in whatever domain, especially if that means you can be punished for oath-breaking. I want to apply this to all academics immediately.

Neuer is still Neuer. Even now, even when his form is suspect and his body is creaking, he can still drop a 10-out-of-10 performance in the Champions League.