Robert Paterson

@TraffordLj 50 = Jail Bait It’s all a matter of perspective He says aged 75

It is my last day of being in my 40s. Tomorrow I turn 50. Gawd I'm old.

@JamesMelville That would stop any cough

Old school cough syrup. Hardcore ingredients.

@LBFlyawayhome Loved Cress sandwiches

Everyday Ladybird things. At home, at school, lots and lots of cress Artist: Harry Wingfield Talkabout Gardens, 1976

@RevdPye @militaryhistori @MargyMayell @GilesMacDonogh @pirateirwin @theskibeagle @alanhinkes @MalcolmCGodfrey @oldtoonloon @EdnaKB2 @FAB87F One of his colleagues in 1917 was Andy McNaughton. In WW2 they clashed

23 July 1883, Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke born France. Dec 1941, became Chief of Imperial General Staff, head of British Army & so represented Army on Chiefs of Staff Committee (CSC). In March 1942, became chair of CSC & Churchill’s foremost military advisor. Died 1963. #WW2

@CliveWardauthor As a fag - not that kind of fag - at my school, the key job of the week was bulling my prefect's boots. I was compelled to learn how to do this properly. The payoff was that when I was a prefect, my fags had to do my boots and webbing - oh the hours spent!

BULLING BOOTS Yes, I was one of them that wasted hours sat there with black fingers, bulling away with my cotton wool or yellow cloth duster and my lid full of warm water waiting for that magic moment when my boots would turn to glass...zzz.... shit where’s everyone gone? I’ll tell you where they’ve gone, down the f**king NAAFI that’s where they’ve gone! I’m the only twat here, wasting valuable drinking/shagging time, doodling countless circles in polish and water and heavy breath on said boot. There was an alternative, but on your own head be it. Klear It was time to join the converted and become a KLEAR addict! Just one stroke of KLEAR, applied with cotton wool, produced the best effect, boy it was good stuff. My nightmare was over, I was now heading for the NAAFI for a skin full of beer, then out on the town to shag anything with a pulse. I had my fix. After a while though, like all addicts, I needed stronger stuff. KLEAR had its side effects. Side Effects Too many applications would lead to the coating flaking off, and if it rained, a milky white, spunky discharge would appear. ‘What the fuck have you been doing with your boots Private?’ Don’t cheat. Your Platoon Sergeant will know all about Johnsons KLEAR and other products. There I was, sitting on my bed again, having fallen out of love with Klear, back to doodling countless circles with more heavy breathing. Then somebody said ‘Have you tried this stuff? Morello Apply using the brush supplied, only a few coats needed. Side Effects I’ve witnessed whole toecaps fall off on parade. Wow, I thought I could handle the odd toe cap. I was hooked again. But to be honest, using all those alternatives like, Seal, Dual, Klear, Morello, Yacht Polish, etc., were never as good as using the proper methods, patience, time, commitment and pride, and bee’s wax. Bull away until the standard is met and remember… Top Tip From the school of the old and the bold. Clockwise on the right boot, anticlockwise on the left one. Does the NAAFI still sell ‘Bulling Rings?’ As long as the boots look shiny, who cares? Or just pay some bulling bitch to do it. Or join the REME!!! BULLIES AND BULSHIT Warning! If easily offended, I really do advise you not to read this book. clivewardauthor.com UK kindle and paperback amazon.co.uk/dp/B08QBQFPKL/…

Every boy in the 1950's and 60's

@CliveWardauthor Just purchased thank you - loved Compo especially Baby's Heads and Irish Stew

Tinned individual Snake and Sydney Puddings – also known as Babies' heads. Another one that is up there with the best. Called babies' heads because they resembled a baby’s head arriving in the world when they came slithering out of the can. The half cans were issued in 24-hour ration packs and the full cans issued in the 10-man packs. Seriously I couldn’t tell you what the meat was, but it tasted great with smash. Just dent the tin and boil it up in your mess tin for about 15 minutes, then open it with your thumb breaker compo tin opener. I used to love watching sprogs end up with a face full of hot boiling fat squirting into the eyes when they pierced the tin. I do believe Baby's Heads were dropped from the ration packs for being too expensive. I remember a few years after I got out, I popped into the local chippie which sold steak n kidney pudding. CHIPPIE ‘Yes sir, what would you like?’ ME ‘I’ll have a portion of chips, mushy peas, and a baby's head please.’ CHIPPIE “Get the f**k out of my shop you weirdo” They refused to serve me for months for some reason. F**kin civvies. COMPO FOOD OF THE GODS by Clive Ward clivewardauthor.com Available on Kindle and paperback amazon.co.uk/dp/B0BQGY54HH/…

The bullshit that is recycling in Canada ♻️🇨🇦💩 It’s always been a sham.

Happy memories the steak and Kidney especially

@bo66ie29 My time! What wonder years they were for a teenager

London in the swinging sixties. The 1967 summer of love. A kaleidoscope of fashion on Carnaby Street which buzzed with youth culture, music, and art.

@NTChedworth Lived for 25 years in Fifield near Stowe - Chedworth was "My Villa" happy memories and part of my awakening to a life long love of Roman Britain - thank you

Golden hour at Chedworth during our recent drone shoot. The beauty of this place is just phenomenal. #Nature #RomanBritain #Archaeology

Does any company make "dumb" refrigerators, dishwashers, washing machines, dryers, etc.? I'm tired of these smart products breaking down every three years. My grandparents had the same fridge for 50 years. It can be done.

@militaryhistori @RevdPye @GilesMacDonogh @pirateirwin @MargyMayell @oldtoonloon @EdnaKB2 @theskibeagle @MalcolmCGodfrey @alanhinkes @michaelkeegan14 I'm not sure, Peter. See my doctor today after the CT Scan - it could be nothing serious or very bad.

@robpatrob @RevdPye @GilesMacDonogh @pirateirwin @MargyMayell @oldtoonloon @EdnaKB2 @theskibeagle @MalcolmCGodfrey @alanhinkes @michaelkeegan14 Trust you are well, mon ami!

16 July 1932, Field Marshal Herbert Plumer died (aged 75). Having served in the army since 1876, he was one of the ablest British commanders in #WW1, winning an overwhelming victory at Battle of Messines in 1917. Renowned as a meticulous planner & held in high regard by his men.

The opportunity for children today? What we are trying to do in my rowing club - Invite children back onto the beach, into the water and nature

@Dougwriter Sigh!

Just had a 1-star review on Amazon in the States, because my book about Poland under the German occupation during the war has too many Polish and German words in it. 🙄

This slot was called Watch with Mother - included The Wooden Tops, Bill and Ben, the flower pot men - magic and innocence

@FoxNews @DanPatrick According to Grok - this area has been subject to many major floods in the last 60 years

Texas Lieutenant Governor @DanPatrick shares harrowing flood survival story from Camp Mystic: "The water was at the door. The camp counselor took a rock and smashed out the window. They climbed out the window in bare feet and nothing but a night gown on, in neck high water."

Dont have your mouth full of coffee when you read this