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Five books...two series, lots of dead people and much chortling and snort laughs.
Six Idiots Witness a Murder (3 books)
The Assassins' Social Club (2 books)
Available on Amazon and Kindle 😀
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Captain Rob 💙💛🤍
17.9K posts
Captain Rob 💙💛🤍
@CaptainRandom10
Travels a lot and writes books. Two dark 'Assassins' Social Club' comedies and three hilarious 'Six Idiots' novels out now https://t.co/O8EYZDAyZQ
England Joined Ağustos 2021
2.8K Following7.4K Followers
If I ask a question on here and someone likes it but doesn't reply, does that mean their brain stopped working the minute they liked it?
Or...are they formulating a devastatingly witty reply which will be delivered to me in three to five business days?
🤷♂️😂🤦♂️
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Have you done anything unusual that people might be surprised by?
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My neighbour recently started work at the airport and went to his company's annual costume party last week dressed as a suitcase.
Unfortunately he didn't know many people and was sitting on his own looking like he'd been abandoned so security took him away and destroyed him. 😁
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No, Kool and the Gang, I don't want you to 'come and celebrate my party with me' as there are 14 of you and I don't have the room for you all in my house.
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That moment at work when you realise it is, indeed, your circus and the clowns you work with are definitely your monkeys.
GIF
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@MedMilMedicine I wonder if there was any kind of battlefield agreement that you don't chop another man's head off while he's taking a dump?
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@CaptainRandom10 This post, like most on this account, is just meant to be a bit of silliness 🤓
Medieval soldiers regularly went where they stood, which could even mean soiling themselves. Hey, if you’ve gotta’ go, you’ve gotta’ go.
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The 14th century is often considered one of the worst centuries in history. Nowhere was this more evident than on the battlefield where often only one toilet stall was made available for each side - 14th century, British Library, Royal MS 16 G VI, f. 40v
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@CourtSunnyYay Yes 😊
I have 5....three in one series and two in another.
I'm thinking of bundling them on Amazon Kindle depending what the file size limit is.... It's only fair that people get to laugh their socks off as much as possible 😁
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@CaptainRandom10 I imagine your book was meant to cross my path it's only a matter of time
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Convince me to read your book with a GIF 😇
Timothy Robare, Author@AuthorTRobare
Convince me to read your book in 23 words using iambic pentameter
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@ProfeSteve1701 That's easy....I'll get back to you in a million years!
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@CaptainRandom10 I can tell you that my pin is the last 4 digits of pi...🤣
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I have decided to become an animal lover so if you could all share with me the name of your first pet that would be great.
While we're here, I'm also interested in people's mothers' maiden names, the street they grew up on and the last three digits of their credit card 😁
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@ColinCorgi @DontBotherKeiti Not this time.... Although I have wondered what would happen if you just followed some random person around for a day and had the day they were having.
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@CaptainRandom10 @DontBotherKeiti Eww that's kinda creepy. Were you spying on them? 😜😁
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@AstronomiconSF Some people like their echo chambers unfortunately.
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@CaptainRandom10 True. I've had people demand that I should only follow people I agree with. To me, that seems bizarre. Imagine if the entire world did that. Civilisation would fall apart.
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@DontBotherKeiti Oh no, that's totally inexcusable. We have our fair share of wrong'uns over here unfortunately.
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@CaptainRandom10 x.com/i/status/20257…
That's in response to all the white Brits who repeatedly called me a cunt and ret*rd for 3 days straight
The newfound disability advocates
𝕂ҼⅰԵⅰ™@DontBotherKeiti
So if a Black man with Tourettes yelled WHITE BITCH whenever a White woman was in their sight THAT would be received pretty empathetically, yes? No problems, right?
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Labour plans
at Brabazon, Gloucestershire — 40,000 new homes
Tempsford, Beds— 40,000 homes
Crews Hill, Enfield— 21,000 homes
Leeds South Bank,Yorkshire—20,000 homes
Manchester Victoria North—15,000 homes
Thamesmead, Greenwich—15,000 homes
Milton Keynes, Bucks— 40,000 homes
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When you meet someone who writes more than 1500 words per day without being distracted by the internet.
Is it possible to learn this power? 🤓
I have my days...but it's hard.
How about you, #writingcommunity ?
#writerslife #amwriting
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@AuthorGoodwin However, I am not interested in people who just promote their book with a screenshot and a few words repeated every day, they have to be engaging as people and post other stuff too.
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Have you ever bought a book from an author because you saw them plugging their novel on this platform?
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@deidrejowen @DouglasCalder_ Is the light bulb / trombone combination still watching me pee? I think having a bright light would only make the 'wah-waah' worse 😳😁
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@DouglasCalder_ @CaptainRandom10 Potential downside: The lit bulb could make it get very HOT 😬
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Ohhhhhh! That sounds…..!
…right, that sounds right 😂
(I kid! Long live tubas ✌️)
DaVinci@BiancoDavinci
Someone turned this old tuba into a fully functioning bathroom sink
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@deidrejowen @DouglasCalder_ I'd be more worried about if it was a trombone and was watching me while I peed and made that sad 'wah-waah' sound 😂
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@DouglasCalder_ Ah yes, would certainly benefit from an on/off feature. No one wants their 2am sip of water to activate the Tuba Serenade.
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