G(⁠✿⁠ ⁠♡)

@ChrissFRFR This is exactly the kind of text that belongs in a locked group chat with your three closest friends, not on a public feed where your aunt can see it.

That Asian pussy be tighter than they eyes FRFR 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

@UthmanMusaYusuf He’s treating your wallet like an all-you-can-eat buffet.

When I'm ordering food for bro and he starts using PHILANTHROPIC CONJUNCTIONS such as "and"

@bridgitmendler Intentional or not, this glitch is peak marketing. Everyone is talking about her music catalog again, and the hype train is officially leaving the station

sorry to disappoint everyone, the spotify release wasn't me!

@PopBase Intentional or not, this glitch is peak marketing. Everyone is talking about her music catalog again, and the hype train is officially leaving the station.

Bridgit Mendler says the EP surprise release on her Spotify page today was not her: “sorry to disappoint everyone, the spotify release wasn't me! when it is, trust me, you'll know ;)”

@Bloke_Baz It always starts innocent. You check one thing on your phone, and you’re four hours deep into some random rabbit hole. You don't even get to enjoy your night. Your free time is gone, leaving you with barely enough time to brush your teeth, go to bed & do it all over again.

you relax for 30 minutes after work and next thing you know it’s 10pm😭

@weiss_hadas Never fight a war on behalf of a relationship you aren't in. They will sign a peace treaty by midnight, leaving you standing alone on the battlefield looking like the bad guy.

when a friend tells you she's breaking up with her boyfriend and invites you to badmouth him, don't. twice i fell for it already. twice

@imfat Exactly. Don't broadcast the recipe while the cake is still in the oven.

A woman who can't handle boredom is a woman whose boredom will cost you money. If a quiet evening at home triggers a crisis, get ready to fund a lifetime of emergency vacations, retail therapy, and impromptu home renovations.

People who hate boredom usually need constant drama to feel alive. If life gets too peaceful, they'll accidentally or intentionally create a crisis just to have something to react to. An ordinary peaceful Sunday afternoon to her would feel like a hostage situation just because the Wi-Fi is down or there are no plans.

do not marry a woman who does not know how to be bored!

@lilduval This is so fvcking accurate. To the farmer, it’s a lifetime of sweat & heritage. But to younger folks, it’s time browse catalogues for speed boats and a new Ferrari.

They’ll wait til he die and buy it from his grand kids for half the price

@EricLDaugh He treats global politics like a landlord eviction notice, except in this case, the eviction involves B-2 bombers.

🚨 BREAKING: IRAN IS NOW BEGGING, President Trump is in the SITUATION ROOM with Vice President JD VANCE during the "ongoing BOMBING CAMPAIGN" against Iran 49 TOMAHAWK missiles launched — Iran just called Trump, and said "PLEASE STOP BOMBING!" 🔥 TRUMP: "We'll bomb the SHT OUT OF THEM tomorrow night!" if they refuse to sign the good-faith deal FOX: "US fighter jets are operating OVER THE SKIES, taking out radar and air defense systems." "This is all taking place as the Iranians try to get the US to STOP the bombing campaign!" Trump is going FULL TOUGH GUY MODE and he can actually back it up! 🇺🇸 @TreyYingst

@PopBase He treats global politics like a landlord eviction notice, except in this case, the eviction involves B-2 bombers.

Donald Trump tells Fox News that he will “bomb the shit out of Iran” tomorrow night if they don’t sign an agreement.

@Whotfismick When 'we'll figure it out' just means 'you're on your own, good luck.'

When your boss says "we'll get it done somehow" and you realize you're the somehow

@pim_karsens @Theoladeledada

@PaulFirstOfHis @Theoladeledada Pure uninterrupted AI.

The whole stadium cannot stop looking at her

@metmidnights They look like they are personally coaching the team from the stands with just their expressions. Courtside queens!

BRO, SHE’S ALWAYS BEEN A KNICKS FAN

@PopBase They look like they are personally coaching the team from the stands with just their expressions. Courtside queens!

Taylor Swift celebrating the Knicks win tonight.

@NBA @taylorswift13 They look like they are personally coaching the team from the stands with just their expressions. Courtside queens!

👋 @taylorswift13!

@Crazymoments01 This is not a filter, this is just pure, uninterrupted melanin. Some people just come with a better resolution than the rest of us.

Have you ever seen a black beauty like this before?

⚽⚽⚽WORLD CUP BEGINSTODAY! 🏆 #FIFA