VC Smart
205 posts
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It was in 2023, after attending one of the Inquire Anomalous conferences I found out from a friend who was attending, that Jay was struggling. She said he was in back channels roasting and eviceratong us privately. I was once again astonished. For the next three years, I only ran into Jay at public conferences and events. He was audibly critical of me after running with the Jason Sands story and for blowing up James Fox's project and ruining other people's entertainment projects. Which I could see his perspective but I dont believe the onus was entirely on me for that. But I'll accept his point of view. As I continued working in the field, I saw deep tensions amidst the original experiencer group. In my personal experience, what I saw as shady and troublesome behavior came more from Bob than it did Jay. That's just my first had experience. After my house was broken into he interfered in a very unsettling way. He warned friends of mine that I better watch out as I had a family. That I shouldn't have released the DEW document about Amy and that I was going to get killed or go to jail. He contacted a close friend, lied about being in touch with me routinely and asked what evidence I had so far on the break in. So, in reflecting on these incidents with current events with Jay and the outspokeness of being an "enemy" I honestly have to wonder about the treatment we've all endured, the slander, back biting, lies, and intimidation and why the group going after Jay would use Bob to send their message. I'm just sharing what happened to me. It was difficult. I constantly felt betrayed. There was no safety. It was shameful. And there was no help except for other women researchers who took me seriously and listened and helped me through those terribly turbulent waters. So forgive me for being jaded about the accusations in this community. Because it was done to me and I've been cautioning everyone I can about these behaviors all along the way. I'm not taking sides Im just sharing my personal experience. If Jay committed sexual assault and his victims are going to come out together to share what happemed of course we should all take it very seriously. But all I've seen is Bob yelling at us to not speak out or we're enemies. I'm still not sure what Bob is but after reflecting on everything thats happened I cannot call him a friend. Friends don't behave like that with one another.
After receiving emails and messages asking what I observed of the alleged abuse by JCK, I've been asked to respond. Several people have pointed out that friends (and co-founders) of the experiencer group have shared they knew about sexual assault allegations since 2022 and never said anything. While I have no knowledge of this accusation and have never heard of these allegations against Jay, what I have experienced directly from the leadership of the experiencer group has been mixed. I bekieve it was in 2022, I came to a supper club dinner to meet Bob McGwier. I kind of inserted myself because we were in Fight Club Group together and I really appreciated his opinions and forth right stance on NHI. But that meeting in NYC wasn't very comfortable. I found myself in the middle of what felt like an interrogation. Strike that.....It was extremely uncomfortable. Afterwards as I drove home to PA, I was left concerned about it. The questions that were asked, the interrogatory style of it, and the unease I walked away with. On the train ride from the restaurant back to my car, Jay saw I was in deep thinker mode and he was quite kind to me. He saw I was disturbed by everything and he provided some context about why the dinner was tense. Additionally, he texted me on my way home to make sure I arrived back to the farm safe and sound. That was a long time ago. But, as I see what has transpired up to now, much of this fractioning or splintering into different groups goes back to that night and what I was picking up on between these friends. What I have observed I can speak to from my direct experience. In 2022, I was told by an attorney who was working for disclosure and with Gillibrands office that one of the co-founders of the Experiencer Group had been accused of racism. After I heard this serious allegation, I took it to Jay and told him. I felt I was being responsible. In parallel, my friendship with Bob grew. I inquired with him on my own case, he inserted Lynda into our discussions and said he would only continue talking with me about my experience after I had a call with Lynda. I thought it was very odd. But I had a zoom call with Lynda anyway. Later that night, I received a frenetic stream of texts from Bob asking if I was "wanded" by Col. John Alexander. That I was a MILAB victim. None of which Lynda shared with me on our zoom call. This deeply concerned me. That same night, Bob called me and said that Nicole Sakatch had called me a "fraud" in a private chat between them. There was a woman in the car with Bob and as I asked him why Nicole would say this about me when I've never met her and had no interaction with her? The woman in the car with him said, "hang up, hang up!!" I DM'd Nicole and ask her why she would say such a thing about me when I've never even met her. She said she didn't. I was left confused, hurt, and angry. Who were these people??? At this stage, I was just trying to understand what happened to me and my daughter. But this was the behavior from leadership within the experiencer group. For the next couple of years, I warned people. 1.) There's was no confidentiality between my and Lyndas call. She labeled my experience and twisted what I said and then took it to Bob. 2.) He in turn asked leading questions I felt had nothing to do with my experience and then proceeded to insult me by calling me a fraud which was out of nowhere. So that was my personal experience with that group up until that point on time. Due to these breaches in confidentiality, unethical behavior, and difficult personalities I shifted to UAP Medical Coalition which I thought would be better for advocacy. I made suggestions about working with experiencers, confidentiality, implementing a code of conduct, etc. My communications with Jay were virtually non existent. He went on to produce the Inquire Anomalous conference which I emphatically supported because of their rich content and community atmosphere.
