BP

Me walking up to the bartender at chucks for drink number 334

With all disrespect, we really don’t want to see your 60 minute Snapchats of fire works going off this year. I can insure you that we all see the same shit happening around us.

Feed me medicine so I can’t feel my sins

We are gorillas on a rock flying through the universe. Eat that fast food, drink those energy drinks, buy those shoes. We all return to dust

I’m starting a petition to ban hangovers in 2024

I’m so old I pop ibuprofen before sexy time

12 years of sadness #MyTwitterAnniversary

Sauce banana

The south side of ness blows

The game was rigged from the start

Twas the night before February 28th, and all through the house…

Buying his brother and naming him after @BrettBr45183217

I’m buying a donkey and he will be named after @TyBurk

Going sober for the rest of 2023

I don’t need your excuse to ease my pain

@TyBurk Fak

@brycep_ Might wanna proof read that one again

@robertterkla Goddam homie on a 5 kill streak

@vidsthatgohard I’m pissed I casually got on twitter for a minute then ended up watching the whole ass bee movie