Jane Morgan
6.1K posts

Jane Morgan
@JaneJvm0010
I'm many things - Mum, qualified podiatrist, advocate for children's palliative care/disability awareness and regurgitator of useless facts.
Any, and everywhere.... Se unió Ekim 2015
5.1K Siguiendo585 Seguidores

Amusement today - watching @LeeAndersonMP_ on @gbnews...he asks why his Mum likes @benjaminbutter .... just as my Mum turns over to watch a recorded programme, so the reply was "Monster Quest"!🤣🤣
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Jane Morgan retuiteado

Me: at a Japanese aquarium.
peaceful day, families everywhere, soft piano music.
then I notice one employee SPEED WALKING past us carrying bucket.
Employee: Excuse me.
another employee runs by, then another.
suddenly whole aquarium staff moving with Avengers-level urgency.
Me: ...
Friend: Something happened.
we follow crowd to penguin section.
absolute chaos, one penguin missing.
not metaphorically, ACTUALLY escaped.
staff members whispering intensely into walkie-talkies.
tiny child beside me: The criminal has escaped.
Me: WHY DID HE SAY IT LIKE THAT.
then I spot the penguin.
bro is BOOKING IT down hallway at shocking speed.
sliding on stomach around corners like furry torpedo.
staff chasing respectfully.
one employee holding fish like hostage negotiator.
Employee: Kenta please.
PENGUIN'S NAME IS KENTA.
Kenta ignores authority completely, runs directly into souvenir shop.
now people buying keychains while rogue penguin commits grand theft atmosphere.
finally old aquarium worker appears.
everyone parts ways dramatically.
this man kneels down calmly.
pulls out single sardine.
Kenta stops immediately.
walks over with zero shame.
Old Worker: Enough adventure.
penguin allows himself to be carried away like drunk friend after party.
crowd applauds.
Friend whispering: He'll do it again.
Honestly? absolutely.
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Jane Morgan retuiteado

@SBarrettBar Steven, I respectfully ask that you stop posting your satire because there is a very real possibility that some people may take it as an instruction. Case in point - George Orwell's 1984 currently being implemented in the UK....
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Jane Morgan retuiteado
Jane Morgan retuiteado

@CopMoustache What a lovely send off. My dad was a farmer and we didn’t have a traditional hearse either

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