I didn’t see the light turned green so naturally I got honked at. Stopped at the next stoplight and the lady who honked at me drove up next to me, waved, and apologized 😂 what a nice lady
@GrantTufto@Rob_3astman@yo_itsb Whoa shit now I know why I haven’t made it big yet. No one could retweet’s all the funny stuff I post. Look out mom I’m going viral now
@yo_itsb I haven’t been on Twitter in I bet 6 months easy, maybe even a year... this is the first tweet I see upon a random notification making me open the app again and I’ve just decided I’m gonna delete the whole thing
Told my coworker that I had a big piece of a jalapeño on the toilet paper when I wiped and he goes “Why would you look at it?!”.
This blind wiper is 42 years old. He’s been walking around with a dirty butthole since his mom stopped wiping his ass.
my eye doctor told me I don’t have astigmatism lol
apparently my pupils are just bigger than average, so my vision isn’t focused around the outer edge of my pupil with my contacts in making headlights look brighter than normal
pretty wild huh