AFPV

@Phillies I would like to give you money in return for streaming all 2026 #Phillies games with no stick-it-to-the-fans blackouts. You can't sell me such a product? No money for you!

Lol. My first name has an unusual spelling and has been rendered incorrectly in various documents my whole life, starting with my birth certificate which features various unattractive AMENDED stamps and authorizing signatures. Getting it wrong in my obituary would be par for the course and would amuse me greatly. Because there is no God or afterlife, however, I will be unable to appreciate the irony.

@AFPV @AnnTouchet83311 And yet he’ll die and there’ll be millions of people saddened. You’ll die and they’ll spell your name wrong in your own obituary.

Just sickening.

@AnnTouchet83311 *you're

@AFPV Your pathetic

@AnnTouchet83311 Lol. As if the orange imbecile gives a fuck about God or his deluded Christian followers except as suckers and prospective buyers of his printed-in-China Bible. Deluded because God doesn't exist, of course.

@AFPV @AndrewCMcCarthy God has him in the palm of his 🙌 doing Gods work 💥💥💥💥💥

@KSSTH20 You require instruction in how to address your betters. I prohibit you from contacting me again until you have obtained it.

@AFPV @AndrewCMcCarthy Fuck you pussy

@spartyon1986 Not at all. Remembering how the loathsome orange moron greeted the deaths of Mueller and Rob Reiner, when the announcement is made I shall join in the global orgy of champagne-glass clinking, high-fiving, and expressions of joy. Can't happen soon enough.

@AFPV @AndrewCMcCarthy imma bet you’ll be magnanimous about it and not post or say only good things when that happens…right?

@AmphibDeckape Nobody feels that way as I am universally loved and admired, not least for my witty and penetrating contributions to Twitter. Nobody will ever be able to say the same about you, dirtbag. I instruct you to go away and bother me no more.

@AFPV @AndrewCMcCarthy I’m sure everyone feels that way about you, dirtbag.

@2505Mac @chasmacg And they're dumb as fuck. When they found James McDade's ears on the pavement of a Coventry street after he blew himself to smithereens in 1974, they still had his fingers in them.

@chasmacg You people are filth.

Whilst the dregs of humanity remember Martin McGuinness, I’ll be remembering the man he made into a human bomb. They chained him into the vehicle so he couldn’t escape. His crime? He was a cook. His name was Pasty Gillespie.

@patriottakes Let's hope it's nothing trivial.

Trump’s hand yesterday at the White House

@buperac No imposition is too great for someone with such an appalling taste in music who insists on playing it so unreasonably loud.

This is the best! Farmers constantly get their fields treated like a dumping ground by people in the city. This person’s garbage included an Amazon pack with their name on it, so the farmer decided to return the garbage right to her house.

@MbarkCherguia Mars City

If you could name the first city on Mars, what would you name it?

@goenumerate No pricing information on your website unlike those of many of your competitors. Next vendor!

@iLoveSpectra @washingtonian I didn't say it was based on IP. Another adult who can't read.

@AFPV @washingtonian it's not based on IP, they have 10+ years of recorded audio from your phones, emails, bank statements. they know what you spend money on and how much. this will be used to extract *more* from poor people, not less.

Many Washington Post readers have been notified via email that their subscription rates are set to increase. Nestled at the bottom of these emails, you’ll find an asterisk and the following: “This price was set by an algorithm using your personal data.” washingtonian.com/2026/03/12/the…

@qualityslop @washingtonian I didn't say anything like that, genius. You're very funny to have reached your advanced age without the ability to read.

@AFPV @washingtonian You're very funny if you think a VPN is all it takes to change an algorithmic pricing.

@clairlemon Remember he lied to you, treating Trump's 2020 stolen-election conspiracy theorists seriously on air but mocking them mercilessly in private texts to colleagues.

Busted x.com/TuckerCarlson/…

I find it disturbing that there exists a market for laundry detergents designed to add smells to your clothes. Imagine putting on a shirt to find it impregnated with a scent described by the soap manufacturer as (real examples all) “Lavender,” “Vanilla,” “Lavender & Sweet Vanilla,” “Honeysuckle,” “French Saffron,” “Australian Sandalwood,” “Italian Bergamot,” “Frankincense & Myrrh,” “Strawberry Pound Cake,” “Coconut Vanilla,” “Ginger Mango,” “Fruity Cereal,” or even the suspiciously opaque “Moonlight Breeze.” Television advertisements for these products are made according to a template in which the following scene is mandatory: Wife lifts towel from hamper of fresh laundry, inhales through it, and with a rapturous smile hands it to husband who repeats the exercise and duplicates the rapturous smile. In real life, of course, after he inhales, the scene would end with the husband upchucking into an emesis bag. No man wants scented clothes, not even if they smell “Fresh.”

@VanityFair Nobody cares.

Could Rose Byrne pull off an unlikely Best Actress #Oscar win? vanityfair.com/hollywood/stor…

@virgil_30 @washingtonian Read the article, genius.

@AFPV @washingtonian That is, and I cannot stress this enough, the opposite of how algorithmic pricing empirically works