David Howell

@DreyfusJames @Keir_Starmer @RichardFairbra9 🤣🤣🤣

@Keir_Starmer @RichardFairbra9 Can I just ask…? Why do you think posting a picture of yourself looking like you’ve just been digitally probed by a hedgehog, whilst holding a pen, makes you look statesmanlike, in any way, shape or form…?

The UK is fully committed to the security of Cyprus and British military personnel based there. We’re continuing our defensive operations and I've just spoken with the President of Cyprus to let him know that we are sending helicopters with counter drone capabilities and HMS Dragon is to be deployed to the region. We will always act in the interest of the UK and our allies.

@KTHopkins @EvaVlaar I'm fully prepared to marry her if that helps!

We will get you into this country @EvaVlaar darling. The time for asking for permission is OVER. Half the Mujahideen rocks up on the Kent coastline on a daily basis. You are a necessary antidote. Let me speak to the lads. We welcome you. x.com/EvaVlaar/statu…

@ToonDazza @DavidLammy @JDVance @WhiteHouse 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@DavidLammy @JDVance @WhiteHouse 1) Did he think you were as big a useless cunt as everyone in the UK thinks you are? 2) Any buffet left? 3) Did you complain that its called the 'White' house?

Today I met Vice President @JDVance at @WhiteHouse. Important to discuss the next steps we can take to bring peace and security to Ukraine.

@ToonDazza @GMB And can everyone stop referring to him as sir! He's a cunt and should be referred to as such.

@GMB It’s really fuckin time this cunt realised that being Pm Is about the people and not himself.

Sir Keir Starmer is launching a campaign to save his premiership with a promise to ease the cost of living crisis in 2026, saying he understands that "every pound matters" to British families. Over the weekend, the Prime Minister warned his critics that a Labour leadership change would be a gift to Nigel Farage, as he prepares the party for local elections in May. @LouisaJamesITV has the latest.

@judge148 Mate!!!!!! Long time no see!!!!!

@Evetssteve4 That's putting it mildly mate.

@TheGriftReport Isn't that the bloke from Abba?

@HaydenHewitt I fucking hate sprouts. They're proper cunts.

Merry Christmas!

@M_H_Tweets @RupertLowe10 Alas, neither of our testicles were needed 😕

What Reeves should announce today, but obviously won’t. Everything costs more. Food, rent, mortgages, insurance, childcare, energy, basic goods, services, the weekly shop, a pint. Britain is getting poorer, faster. People feel it, and they’re right. Inflation has eaten us alive. Wages wiped out. Savings eroded. Families poorer. Britain weaker. We are getting ripped off. Why? Because Britain is addicted to the size of its own state. Here’s what Reeves should say. Tax cuts. Lots of tax cuts. - Raise the personal allowance dramatically - let people keep the first £20,000 they earn, minimum. No tax. It will cost, but the savings it will produce from encouraging people back into work will be vast, - Slash Income Tax/National Insurance, especially on middle-earners who’ve been squeezed the hardest. This is uncomplicated, Rachel. REWARD HARD WORK. - Remove the stealth taxes they all pretend don’t exist - fiscal drag and frozen thresholds which quietly rob the British people every year. - Give overseas skilled British workers vast tax benefits to relocate their tax revenue and skills back to Britain. Bring them home. - Cut back VAT, reduce fuel duty, cut alcohol duty, none of this sugar tax bullshit. - Stamp duty, gone for British families. Let’s get the property market moving. - Licence fee, scrapped. On the bonfire. Day one. More cash in the pocket for families. Unleash British business - Cut Corporation Tax to the lowest rate in Europe. Undercut them. Compete. Win. - Push back dividend thresholds and taxes. If people are successful, ENCOURAGE IT. - Abolish Business Rates for small firms. Bring our high streets back. Turkish barber/vape shop fraud crackdown too - let's root out the criminals. - Slash Employers’ National Insurance - the single biggest reason small firms won’t hire more staff. OBVIOUSLY. We need to get that right down. Non-negotiable. - Supercharge deregulation, especially for small businesses. A redtape bonfire visible from space. Let it burn. - End the HR-ification of Britain. Bosses should be able to sack people, and they’ll end up actually hiring more because of that. - Scrap IR35, immediately. Leave people to interface between themselves. - Double the VAT threshold, possibly more. Overnight, vast growth will be unleashed from businesses hovering just under £90k. The figures show it already! - Super-deductions for investment, including capital allowances and R&D incentives. Encourage people to invest and they will! - Get police policing, and restoring some confidence for investment. Make Britain safer, and that will make Britain richer. A brutal restructuring of the welfare state. And I mean brutal. - No benefits for foreign nationals. If you arrive here, you contribute. If you’re here and you don’t? You leave. Billions saved, with one stroke. - Mandatory work requirements for all those able to work. If you want support from taxpayers, you must give something back. A fair time to search for a job, but then you’re put to work. Picking litter or whatever else. - Full disability fraud crackdown using data-matching and HMRC-style enforcement. Weed out the piss-takers. - A cap on total household benefit claims - it should never pay more to stay home than to work. Never. Drive for self-sufficiency. - Domestic energy production on a huge scale, like we’ve never seen before. Drive that cost of energy down. Fracking. North Sea extraction. New nuclear. Gas storage. Cheap dependable energy = lower prices for everything. It’s that simple. - Food security, with domestic output boosted and less reliance on foreign supply chains. - Support British farming. Scrap the family farming tax. Use the public sector’s purchasing power to BUY BRITISH from our farmers. End dependency. Boost farming apprenticeships. - A national infrastructure plan focused on logistics, ports, roads, and freight efficiency. The cheaper it is to produce and transport things, the lower prices fall. Places like Great Yarmouth with our fantastic port will boom. Stop building roads in Guyana, and use that money in Britain. A robust plan to deal with the cancer of inflation. - Immediate ban on money-printing (QE) without explicit Parliamentary approval. No more splurges by the Bank of England and that toad Bailey. - Slash public spending - genuine far-reaching cuts. Nobody is safe. All departments. - Foreign aid. Gone. Entirely. Billions saved overnight. - Freeze all non-essential recruitment across the entire public sector (excluding front-line staff). A workforce pause, until inflation is under control. Then follows strict limits. - A structured debt-repayment schedule, legally binding, to get those vast billion debt-interest payments falling. If you want some awful perspective - we now spend more on debt interest than on defence. No serious country on earth behaves like this. Britain does. It’s like some third world African tinpot dictatorship approach to economic affairs. - We need to cut the debt, not just the deficit. - Public sector pension liability - all off balance sheet. Needs a total overhaul as state employees are radically cut. Stop importing poverty, crime and sex pests. - Shut down all illegal migration with mass deportations, rapid removals, third-country processing, and no exceptions. Billions saved on abolishing asylum and related costs. - Cut legal migration to net-negative, especially low-wage migration that undercuts British workers. - Remove those who are a drain. If they’re claiming benefits, living in social housing, unable to speak English, refusing to contribute? Thanks, but your presence is no longer required. Bye. - Deport foreign sex pests and criminals. Make our towns safe again. Watch how investment flows back into our dying high streets. We must urgently cut back the bankrupt British state. Growth only comes from the following things. A smaller state. Lower taxes. More people working. Fewer people scrounging. Cheaper energy. Stronger borders. Mass deportations. Actual production. That is it. Reeves sadly does not have the balls to do what is necessary. Britain needs an economic revolution.

@HaydenHewitt @jerrod_lew 🤣🤣🤣

@DavidHowe1l @jerrod_lew Exactly! Wait...what?

If you create, you are an artist. No matter how it's done.

@HaydenHewitt @jerrod_lew What is an actor without a fluffer?

@jerrod_lew If you commission an artist to create something for you, are you the artist?

@demster70 Or even in the country.

I don’t want anyone who supports sharia law presenting on British TV.

@HaydenHewitt Young Frankenstein was the best.

I think it's okay (maybe) to say I find the novel Frankenstein to be incredibly dull and of its time. The concept is great, I love the idea of a scientist creating a monster out of corpses but past that it simply doesn't resonate with me (WITH ME...this is not an instruction for anyone else). I watched the film and still feel roughly the same. I don't think GDT has dishonoured the source material and I can't understand the war raging on X as to how the film looks. It looks like the director intended, you can like that or not but there are too many people screaming that they're qualified to make objective statements about something so subjective because they've watched a lot of films. Overall, it's worth a look. It's interesting, the acting is on point, the direction is GDT from top to bottom. Yeah, I'm not sold on the constantly floating camera but that was his choice, I wasn't horribly distracted or anything. Just relax a little and if you're unhappy go and watch the Universal versions again to cheer yourself up.

@DreyfusJames I reckon I could take him! 😕

Thank you, Ade, for your service! 🫡

@HaydenHewitt We need to combine Liverpool and Manchester and call it Livchester, however I used to get called a "Mickey Mouser" by the mancs when I first moved to Manchester so I want reparations!!!

It's time to recognise the state of Catalonia! And while we're at it, the Democratic People's Republic of Manchester sounds good. Let's do that too. Lammy says it's harmless so...

@karenhenthorna1 🤣🤣🤣

Oh sweetheart...and there I am 🤣🤣🤣I'll be in your living room soon for at least 48 hours!! With the same rolling tin! Eating the same banana's. Spouting the same sh#te! X

@Simon_Naylor You've never lived if you haven't nearly died. Here's to the next near death "legal" experience xxx

Happy Happy Birthday to @DavidHowe1l. I’ve been on more adventures with this man than any other. Most of them involving nearly dying or something questionable in legal terms. He’s taught me loads-most of it useless. I love him lots. Happy birthday captain. Here’s to more chaos!

@vickimichelle @daveainsworth63 @YesterdayTweets @StreamOnU Loved this!

Allo Allo tonight. 8pm Yesterday Channel. 3 Fabulous laugh out loud episodes. I definitely need a laugh, shoulder still so painful. See you there Fab people. At least I didn’t have to wear a moustache! #AlloAllo @YesterdayTweets @StreamOnU #sundayvibes

@TravieSte Not really. I've done a few adverts. There's a flooring one out at the moment.

@DavidHowe1l watching you in brassic.... Racking my brains.... Do you do voice overs on something? 🤔🤔🤔

@jameseoates Looks ace!